Episode 5

Big Sister Energy

🎙️ Big Sister Energy

Episode Summary:

Some roles follow us everywhere—especially the big sister role. In this episode of The Mirror Project, we’re unpacking the impact of birth order on friendships. From eldest daughter responsibility to only-child independence, we’re diving into how these early dynamics shape the way we show up in relationships.

🔹 The Eldest Daughter Experience – Carrying the weight of emotional responsibility in friendships.

🔹 Sibling vs. Only Child Friendships – How birth order influences the way we connect with others.

🔹 Breaking Old Patterns – Can we change how we show up in friendships, or do these roles stick with us forever?

Whether you’re the eldest, the youngest, or somewhere in between, this episode is all about understanding the unconscious ways we navigate friendships—and how we can be more intentional moving forward.

🎧 Listen Now on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or your favorite platform!

 

Birth Order & Friendships – Does It Matter?

✔️ Friendship Styles – Do eldest siblings take on a caretaker role? Do only children seek deeper, one-on-one connections?

✔️ Navigating Groups vs. One-on-One Bonds – How does growing up with or without siblings affect how we build friendships?

✔️ Breaking the Cycle – Recognizing patterns, setting boundaries, and redefining our roles in friendships.

✔️ Mindful Friendship Growth – How can we be more present and intentional in our relationships?


Have you noticed how your birth order affects the way you make friends? Let’s talk about it!


 

📲 Connect With Us!

💬 Follow us on Instagram, TikTok, & YouTube: @mirrorprojectpod

☕ Support us on Buy Me a Coffee: Support Us Here

📩 DM us your questions & topic suggestions – We’d love to hear from you!

👉 Next week’s episode: The power of saying No—why it’s a complete sentence and how we can stop over-explaining ourselves.

Hit that like, follow, and subscribe button, and we’ll see you next time! 🎙️

Transcript
Christine:

hey everyone.

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Welcome back to The Mirror Project.

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We are your host, Christine,

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Alexandra: And Alexandra.

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Christine: and today we're tapping

into some big sister energy.

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Which if you've been listening for a

while, you know Alexandra and I like to

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bring to this podcast, but this episode in

particular hits a little different for me.

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I came across a real recently

that stopped me in my tracks.

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It said, this one's for

the eldest daughters.

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What do you guys think it's like to

not be constantly aware of the emotions

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of every single person around you?

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To not feel responsible for making

sure everyone around you is okay

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no matter what energetic, emotional

or mental toll it takes on you?

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And wow, did that hit home?

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Got me thinking about how much of

that big sister role I've carried into

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my friendships, the way I approach

relationships, the responsibility I feel,

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and how different my experience has been

compared to, say, my sisters or even

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Alexandra, who grew up as an only child.

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So today we're diving into that.

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How does birth order shape the way

we make and maintain friendship?

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How do we carry those early family

dynamics into our social lives?

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And more importantly, can

we rewrite those patterns?

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Can we learn to show up in friendships

differently without bringing every

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past version of ourself with us?

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This conversation is a personal one, but

I have a feeling a lot of you will relate.

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So let's get into it.

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Alexandra: Well, Christine,

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Christine: Yes.

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Alexandra: video that you

ran across and shared.

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Christine: yes.

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Alexandra: said, whoa, that hit you.

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So when you first heard it, what was the

part that hit you like most viscerally?

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Christine: I think the, the thing that

hit me the most was I, I relate to

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constantly being aware of everybody around

me like I am, where their emotion is at.

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Like if it's a particularly

tense situation or if I

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can, like, I can sense when.

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Somebody's mood shifts.

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Like I'm always hyper aware of that

and whether or not it's because I'm

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the oldest or because I can be at

times quite anxious as a person.

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And like I do have like a part of me

wishes that I don't want anybody to be

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uncomfortable, upset and like I just

don't want that to escalate, you know?

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So I, I'm constantly aware and, and at

times will focus on that more than myself.

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So I think this summed it up beautifully.

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and then at the end she ends

by saying, that must be nice.

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It was like, yeah, I don't really know

what it's like because that's just,

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that's just the constant state I exist in.

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But.

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Alexandra: Okay, if you don't know

what it is, what do you imagine that

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to feel like where you're not, you

know, having to, to constantly, you

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know, think about everyone else?

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What do you think that would feel like?

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Christine: I really don't know.

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I'm sure I probably would be a little

less stressed and uptight at times.

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Alexandra: Say you uptight?

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No, which

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Christine: I don't know.

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Alexandra: 'cause you don't come

off as an uptight person, so.

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Christine: Oh, that's, well,

that's very, okay, good.

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I guess

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maybe, maybe that's not the word.

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I don't know.

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Maybe I'm just in my head about it.

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Maybe I feel like I am, you know,

but that's not really the case.

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The stories we tell ourselves and

all I guess I would probably feel,

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I mean, I, do feel like a laid back

person, but I tend to, things tend

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to stick with me for like a long

time, even after a situation is over.

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If I know I left an interaction where

someone, whether or not I made that

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person feel that way, if they've

left feeling angry, uncomfortable,

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hurt, it's gonna stick with me and

it's gonna, it's gonna bother me.

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Now I realize that's not on me.

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But I don't know if I, I think maybe

it, it ties back to the sort of re

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responsibility I felt like I needed to

place on myself to make sure my sisters,

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my parents, other family friends that

they all felt, I don't know if like,

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it, it felt safe with me or felt like.

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I would be there to support

them, that they could lean on me,

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like whatever the case may be.

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But that often has left me feeling

like I don't have the capability

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to, to do that to somebody else.

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Like, I feel like it's a burden for me to,

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to not be like to I don't know.

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Do you get what I'm saying?

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Like

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Alexandra: A little bit.

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Yeah, I think I was following it.

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Christine: My, the point being

like, I, I the point, right?

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So the point being like, I don't

feel like I would be able to, I

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never wanna be a burden, right?

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That has been a big thing with

me ever since I was little.

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I don't know where, where that came from.

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I don't know.

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I don't think anyone like I.

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Said those words to me

at any point in my life.

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But I think just based on expectations

perhaps, or like role, like my role as an

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older sister, as the oldest I just sort

of then piled on top of that my own stuff.

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So then I in turn don't

feel like I can lean on.

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Like it's hard for me to be able to let,

let myself be exposed, lean on someone,

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Alexandra: Mm-hmm.

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Christine: be the quote unquote, I feel

like burden, like isn't the, I guess,

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for lack of a better word, yeah, burden.

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I don't wanna, but I know that

that's not the case, especially

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when I'm with people who really tru,

who truly love and care about me.

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Alexandra: Mm-hmm.

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Christine: Anyway, I could go

down this rabbit hole even more,

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but Did I answer your question?

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Alexandra: I think so.

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I think we

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Christine: Okay.

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All right.

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Alexandra: which brings me to a

follow up question for you, Christine.

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Christine: Sure.

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Alexandra: From your perspective, thinking

about your experience, how did you see

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your sisters interact in terms of from

where they were in the birth order

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with their friends, understanding that

they're not here to personally comment.

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So from your, what you saw

and interpreted from that.

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Christine: I guess like, like we mentioned

earlier, I kind of feel as though I

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take on this sort of motherly role.

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I, I, I wouldn't characterize what,

how my sisters interacted with

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their, their friends as the same.

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I feel like they potentially.

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Are approaching their relationships

and that, that dynamic from a different

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perspective than I am just because

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their experience is different

than what mine has been.

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Alexandra: Mm-hmm.

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Christine: So it's, I again, it's like,

like to your point, it's hard to, to

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put myself in their shoes in that regard

because I don't necessarily know if I

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understand where they're coming from.

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That's not something we've really

had a chance to talk about.

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So it would be interesting to

sort of get their take on it.

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If, if this is even something

that's crossed their mind.

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Maybe it's like, maybe this

hasn't even occurred to them.

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But it, it occurred to me because I feel

like we've had at least two episodes

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now where we sort of dug in and talking

about navigating friendships, knowing

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when to let, Certain relationships go.

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I feel like this has been an, this

is an interesting direction to

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take the conversation because at

least for myself, it has been so

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informative to how I approach all of

my relationships, if that makes sense.

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So,

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Alexandra: I

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Christine: yeah.

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Alexandra: It's kind of a, a

more natural, like evolution

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of the conversation of like.

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When we talk about, okay,

letting friendships go or seeking

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out new friendships, then it

turns like self-reflective and

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going, what role do I play?

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So,

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Christine: Yeah.

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I think maybe as a result of where I'm

coming from, it sometimes takes me longer

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to let go of something because I want

to try and do everything I possibly

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can to make something work, because

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those foundational relationships of your

family, your siblings, your parents.

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I, I was always taught they're

the ones with that are with you,

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they will be with you always.

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So it's important to cultivate and grow

these relationships and invest in them.

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And I really took that to heart.

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It's something that has been very

important to me and instrumental to me.

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My mom always expressed how much she

wanted my sisters and I to have a strong

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relationship so that, you know, one

day when our parents are no longer with

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us, we have each other no matter what.

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Alexandra: Mm-hmm.

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Christine: And it's been a bumpy ride.

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It hasn't always been easy.

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My sisters and I are very, are three

very strong independent women who are at

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times stubborn and see things their way.

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But through it all we've really.

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Have a deep love and

respect for each other.

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So I'm really proud of the

re relationships that we've

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have built in our adult years.

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I, I will say like this is probably the

closest we've ever been in our lives,

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and I think that a lot has to do with

when you're growing up, everyone's at

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a different stage in their life, so,

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Alexandra: Yeah.

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And I think you talked about that

last, one, of the last two episodes

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where like, it is easier to make

friends and relationships with people

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who are in similar stages of life.

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And the fact that you, all three

of you are now out of college

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and all working, that is a

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Christine: Mm-hmm.

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Alexandra: of life.

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where you are on that path, you, you now

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Christine: Right.

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That's, that's a good point.

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Alexandra: in high school, one

in college, and then you're out.

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So,

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Christine: So thank you so much

Alexandra, for listening to me Babylon

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for the last however many minutes.

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But I'd love to ask you now, can you sort

of give us some insight into how this has

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impacted you establishing friendships?

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Have you did it, it, did that make the

process feel more intentional for you?

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Give us an idea of what, 'cause being

an only child is so foreign to me.

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I've never experienced it,

so I'm very fascinated.

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Alexandra: Well, I think in some ways

I remember points of growing up where I

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wished I had a sibling in some, in some

ways, having that kinda like in friend.

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Christine: Hmm.

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Alexandra: You know, looking back,

I don't, I don't know that I would

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say that I was super intentional

I was little about making friends

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Christine: Sure.

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Alexandra: an only child.

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I will say that there were a

couple of key relationships

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kind of throughout my childhood.

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More like one-on-one friendships

who became really important, even

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if it was for a period in my life.

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And, and most of those people are

not currently in my life right now.

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I will say I think I was a lot

more comfortable one-on-one

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with people with friends.

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So I would have one best friend and

a, a lot of acquaintances or friends

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and people I would get along with.

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But like, I had like one, two

really, really good friends.

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And it's kind of funny.

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I can like mark periods in my life

by who the friend was at the time.

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Christine: Sure.

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Alexandra: you know, And it was

interesting what you said earlier, you

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had talked about kind of feeling like the

mom of the group, the responsible one.

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I will say, I think as an only

child, I feel a little, a little

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out, like of the normal stuff.

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So I kind of felt like I blazed

my own path in some ways.

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And what you said about holding

on and, and I think that's what I

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did, I was like, okay, this doesn't

necessarily come super easy to me.

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having large groups of friends, and I

think that's also just personality wise.

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I do

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Christine: Hmm.

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Alexandra: with like a, a small

handful of really close friendships.

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And then a lot of people I know

really well kind of like an ambivert,

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like I have extroverted moments, but

then, you know, introverted moments.

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I do kind of hold on to things about

relationships, friendships that have,

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I don't wanna say failed, but like.

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Fallen by the wayside for one

thing, another, we grow apart,

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we're in different stages of lives.

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You know, I'll hold on.

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And even people who are not friends are

barely acquaintances, I'll hold onto

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like, I think I mentioned there was

an something that happened in second

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grade and you know, that was something

I held onto for a very, very long time.

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And I'll say like the only the

past year that I really kind of

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finally able to let some of that go.

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And I'm like, why do I hold onto this?

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But I think it was the, I'm

like, did I not do something?

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Christine: Hmm.

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Alexandra: I have done to

make that relationship better?

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And I think some of that,

like only childless stuff.

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I feel so much responsibility

for making a friendship work

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Christine: Hmm.

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Alexandra: I think, I'm trying

to think of, of my friends.

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I think now I think I have more friends

who are of siblings, older siblings.

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When I think when I was younger they were

like the younger siblings or the middle

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siblings of different of their families.

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And I think I've mentioned, I, I

lived in a city that not the same

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city that I went to school in.

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'cause I went to private school.

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So there was always not so much

easy time of like, Hey, lemme

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go back to the neighborhood.

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And like, here are my

neighborhood friends.

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We

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Christine: Sure.

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Alexandra: neighborhoods that

didn't have a whole lot of kids, so

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Christine: Mm-hmm.

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Alexandra: very independent

from a very young age.

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So I will say that I think being an

only child and my personality, it was

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easier to make friends one-on-one.

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And what you said, the, the quote kind of

hit me because even though I'm not like a.

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Big sister a lot of people would come and

like, share their emotions with me and

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tell me stories and like, they would leave

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Christine: Hmm.

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Alexandra: wonderful.

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And I'm sitting there going,

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Christine: Yeah.

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Alexandra: don't know what to

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Christine: What do I do with this?

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Yeah,

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Alexandra: I'm so glad you feel better.

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Christine: sure.

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Exactly.

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Alexandra: kind of, kind of felt

like I took on a caretaker role of

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Christine: Mm.

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Alexandra: So not necessarily a mother

role, but like a, a caretaker role for

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other people's wellbeing and a friendship.

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So yeah, I'll say that's,

that's kind of what it was.

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And then I've had some really close

friends who have become sisters.

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I mean, I talk about my sister on the

podcast, and Sammy's one of those people.

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You're one of those people who I consider

sibling and longtime friend Geneva.

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So

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Christine: Mm-hmm.

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Alexandra: those are the people.

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Christine: Sure.

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I was thinking as you were talking about

how you sort of your relationships thrived

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on a one-on-one sort of interaction.

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I definitely relate to that as well.

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I sort of always like envy.

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There was one girl in high school, she

was an only, she was an only child.

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But she was, she was that personnel,

like stereotypical extrovert friends with

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everyone really bubbly, just sort of like.

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Bounced from group to group and I

think just thrived off of it because

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she like is an extrovert by nature.

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So they, they thrive off of

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Alexandra: Mm-hmm.

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Christine: social interaction.

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I, on the other hand, much like you, more

of an ambivert, I can be extroverted when

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I wanna be, but I sort of like toe that

line of you know, enjoying my alone time.

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I think as I've gotten older,

I've been able to figure out how

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to enjoy my own company more.

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That was something that was, that

took some time for me to learn just

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because when there wasn't, when there

wasn't anyone around me to sort of

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give my love and attention to, I was

like, well, who do I give it to now?

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And it, it took me a while to realize

like, oh, I could give it to myself.

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Alexandra: I

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Christine: can.

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Alexandra: space for me.

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Christine: I can be my own friend,

I can, I can figure out how to

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love myself and, and all of that.

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I don't know, like if growing up with

siblings made me more comfortable

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navigating group dynamics, I definitely

sort of feel like it's helped me in

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being aware of how in it's helped me

in figuring out how to assess like

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a group of people I'm walking into.

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'cause I'm definitely like the, the quote

we, we talked about at the start was

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I, I definitely am just hyper aware of

people, like their mood, their energy.

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I, I just sort of like sense it.

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So.

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In that way, it's helped me in

navigating group settings, but I

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think my, my relationship, like my

ideal sort of quality time in, in

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relationship building is that one-on-one.

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Alexandra: Mm-hmm.

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Christine: It's, it's like a way to,

you know, go deeper with somebody

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and be present with that person.

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Being intentional with, with

my time and their time, so,

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Alexandra: And I

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Christine: yeah.

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Alexandra: some that's lacking

today in some friendships, not ours.

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not ours.

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But you know, people, we can be so

distracted now by everything else that

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spending time with people one-on-one or

even in the small group setting and being

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fully present is, it can be difficult.

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I'll say group dynamics where.

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Not awkward.

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I think moments there was, it was, could

be a little bit overwhelming having being

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a more naturally inclined introvert.

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Christine: Hmm.

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Alexandra: where it was like, particularly

if it's really, really loud and a lot of

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people, then I'm like, oh my gosh, okay.

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And then I start to gravitate

towards, like some people, if I've

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heard them talk about something and

I don't know them, I'll like, boom.

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Like, that person's

interesting, lemme talk to them.

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Or some people who have just a

chiller, chiller energy and vibe.

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I'm like, okay,

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like, let me find the calm in the storm.

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Christine: Hmm

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Alexandra: but then I, I have a really

wonderful close friend who is an only

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child and is the extreme extrovert

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Christine: mm.

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Alexandra: think it's done me really,

really well to, to be friends.

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And that friendship, I think

it's helped kind of force me

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to realize I'm, it's okay.

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Don't take myself so seriously.

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I will say that is something

I feel like is maybe an.

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For me, my experience as an only child

is I take myself super seriously.

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So I, like, I take, if I mess up in a

friendship or if I don't say the right

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thing, I do worry about what people

will say and therefore that can kind of,

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can come off as a very serious person.

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Christine: Mm.

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Mm-hmm.

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Alexandra: And then

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Christine: Sure.

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Alexandra: you need to lighten up.

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And I'm like, Hmm, don't love that.

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And I'm like, I do lighten up with the,

the people I feel comfortable with.

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Christine: Yeah,

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Alexandra: So

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Christine: yeah.

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Alexandra: time

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Christine: It's,

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Alexandra: the right group too.

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:

I think as an only child I kind of

just tripped into some groups feeling

370

:

like, oh, I should be more social.

371

:

Like I, I should expand my friendship.

372

:

I should have a larger network of people.

373

:

And it

374

:

Christine: hmm.

375

:

Alexandra: taken me some time to realize,

it's like, I think tapping into that my

376

:

experience and you know, tendencies and

stuff to find best group of people for me.

377

:

Christine: Sure.

378

:

Absolutely.

379

:

Alexandra: Did that answer your question?

380

:

Christine: yeah, definitely.

381

:

Sorry, my furnace is coming

alive, so it's making noises.

382

:

That's why I keep looking over there.

383

:

Alexandra: So Christine,

384

:

Christine: Yes.

385

:

Alexandra: kind of touching back what

we, we briefly started to touch on

386

:

Christine: Mm-hmm.

387

:

Alexandra: What did you notice?

388

:

You've mentioned feeling

like the mother in the group.

389

:

Christine: Mm-hmm.

390

:

Alexandra: What did you your sisters,

what kind of roles did you see your

391

:

sisters take in their friendships

when they were in group dynamics?

392

:

Christine: There was

sort of this carefree,

393

:

they weren't necessarily worried

about this was my perception of it.

394

:

Like it didn't seem like they were worried

too much about, like those around them.

395

:

They just felt very comfortable

being who they were and was happy

396

:

to, they were happy to express

what they were feeling and how they

397

:

were feeling in a way that I never.

398

:

Like if I think about it really

would feel comfortable doing.

399

:

So there, there was that carefree

sort of like ease they, they

400

:

would bring in, in the social

interactions that I saw them with.

401

:

Super playful, like

402

:

so I'm trying to think if

there was anything else.

403

:

I, they didn't really,

404

:

I feel like they, they didn't

really struggle with boundaries

405

:

or anything like that, but, hmm.

406

:

I never really asked them how, like when

they enter or an interaction if they're.

407

:

Focused on how everybody

else is feeling around them.

408

:

Like, I think everybody can, there,

there's a, there's a, a level that

409

:

everybody has innately that they

can sort of sense people's moods,

410

:

but I don't know if it's necessarily

something that would inform how they

411

:

would behave in, in that interaction.

412

:

I would be very focused on

like, okay, what's going on?

413

:

How can I fix it?

414

:

How can I help?

415

:

What do you need?

416

:

They might just sort of like, ignore it

or, or, or not necessarily address it.

417

:

so yeah, I guess those are, those

were things I kind of would infer

418

:

from interactions they would have.

419

:

Alexandra: from your observations of

some of the more carefree, you know,

420

:

what you see as carefree, whether

or not they experience it that way,

421

:

Christine: Mm-hmm.

422

:

Alexandra: do you or have you ever

felt a little bit of resentment for how

423

:

much responsibility you feel in terms

of your role in friendships and as

424

:

you've mentioned, monitoring everyone?

425

:

Christine: I think, I think def there,

there have been times where I've

426

:

sort of have felt resentment, not

nec, maybe not necessarily targeted

427

:

at any one particular person, but

like I would resent the fact that I

428

:

felt like this is my responsibility.

429

:

I, why was I the one who always

had to like be mindful of other

430

:

people's feelings and emotions?

431

:

Why was that never taken account for me?

432

:

And whether or not, like, not to

say that that was how I was made to

433

:

feel, but you know, to my point of

I men mentioned earlier of like that

434

:

foundation that was set and then all

of the things I piled on top of it.

435

:

That was, that was on me.

436

:

So it was, I was maybe

resenting myself in a way.

437

:

Like, I put my, maybe I put

myself in this position.

438

:

I don't know.

439

:

This is like something I would

love to dig more, more into.

440

:

Maybe I need, you know, be a good

thing to talk about in therapy perhaps.

441

:

I don't know.

442

:

Alexandra: Christine knows I've been

angling for an episode where we talk about

443

:

therapy and then the journey of therapy.

444

:

So

445

:

Christine: Yes,

446

:

Alexandra: great endorsement,

Christine, for that episode.

447

:

Christine: for sure.

448

:

I think it, this is, this is an area

that, of that is just, you know,

449

:

begging to be explored because it's so

foundational to who I am as a person.

450

:

I would, I mean, I don't necessarily

feel resentment all the time, but

451

:

there are times that I, I've, I

feel like why am I the one that

452

:

that has to be the responsible one.

453

:

Alexandra: You

454

:

Christine: know.

455

:

Alexandra: enter a situation and be

the carefree, just like, doesn't matter

456

:

what anyone else thinks or feels.

457

:

Christine: Yeah, exactly.

458

:

Alexandra: up.

459

:

Christine: Mm-hmm.

460

:

Mm-hmm.

461

:

I definitely feel like at times

I hold myself back in a way.

462

:

But that, just, I think is because I can

be guarded about who I reveal myself to.

463

:

You know, I obviously this is a

conversation I'm having with you and

464

:

I know people will listen to it, but

this isn't something I would talk

465

:

about with somebody I just met like

yesterday, a month ago, you know, so.

466

:

Alexandra: don't just stop people

in coffee shops and have these

467

:

deep, insightful conversations

468

:

Christine: not typically, but, but

maybe I should start, maybe that'll

469

:

do worlds for my for, for, for me.

470

:

Who knows?

471

:

Alexandra: Who knows?

472

:

Just come up to a stranger.

473

:

So, hey, how do you feel about your birth

order and the role of your friendships?

474

:

Christine: Yeah.

475

:

How does that play into your personality

type, extrovert, ambivert, introvert,

476

:

like all these things, you know,

477

:

Alexandra: definitely a better

icebreaker question than like,

478

:

Hey, what's your favorite color?

479

:

You know?

480

:

So,

481

:

Christine: I would love to know

your favorite color as well.

482

:

We can add that into the conversation.

483

:

It can be the first question

immediately followed up by this.

484

:

Alexandra: and then the person answering

is just, Naomi, I just wanted to

485

:

know your, your, your coffee order.

486

:

you're like, oh, sorry.

487

:

Christine: Yeah.

488

:

Alexandra: You mentioned the foundational

role that your family played in

489

:

kind of developing who you are and

490

:

Christine: Mm-hmm.

491

:

Alexandra: you added additional

responsibility on top of that.

492

:

Christine: Yeah.

493

:

And expectation, all of that.

494

:

Mm-hmm.

495

:

Alexandra: and I think, I think you

mentioned it this already, but is

496

:

there any, do you feel like there are

any friendships in which you play a

497

:

different role, that you're not, you

don't feel like you're always relegated

498

:

or step into that, that big sister type?

499

:

Christine: That's a good question.

500

:

Yeah, I would say our relationship is

one where I wouldn't say I'm like, feel

501

:

like necessarily a big sister to you.

502

:

I think we sort of, and I think what

I, what I take into relationships

503

:

where I sort of feel like I fall

into this big sister or motherly role

504

:

is like, I know if I don't initiate

505

:

Alexandra: Mm.

506

:

Christine: plans, they're

never gonna happen.

507

:

If I don't like, and, and maybe

that's not true but that's just sort

508

:

of how, how I feel, how it feels.

509

:

Right.

510

:

I'm very much the planner of

like, okay, if we're gonna

511

:

go away for the weekend, I've

512

:

Alexandra: Yeah.

513

:

Christine: potentially,

the group I'm going with.

514

:

Wouldn't sort of talk

about what we're gonna do.

515

:

So I'm, I feel like then it's on me.

516

:

Okay, here we go.

517

:

This is my plan.

518

:

This is what I'm thinking.

519

:

XY this is the list of things we

need to, to pick up at the store.

520

:

Like, I, I initiate that.

521

:

And not to say that wouldn't happen

if I didn't initiate it, but I,

522

:

I just sort of feel like it's

what I can bring to the table.

523

:

Right.

524

:

Alexandra: Mm-hmm.

525

:

Christine: Maybe in a, I don't know.

526

:

Maybe in a way it's

like how I feel valued.

527

:

Alexandra: Interesting.

528

:

Okay.

529

:

Christine: yeah.

530

:

That just popped into my head.

531

:

That seems kind of dark.

532

:

Alexandra: Part of that

conversation for therapy.

533

:

Christine: yeah.

534

:

Therapy.

535

:

Oop.

536

:

Alexandra: Totally happy to have that

conversation with you off the podcast if

537

:

you don't wanna have that on here, but,

538

:

Christine: Sure.

539

:

Alexandra: Like, yeah, we kind of

replicate the roles in which we

540

:

feel like we get something from

with different relationships.

541

:

Christine: Mm-hmm.

542

:

Mm-hmm.

543

:

Yeah.

544

:

I mean, for you, Alexandra, what,

545

:

as you mentioned, you've found and

fostered and nurtured relationships

546

:

that are akin to a sibling relationship.

547

:

Is this, is this something,

has this filled a void for you

548

:

that maybe you didn't realize?

549

:

Like sort of that feeling of, well,

you didn't know what you didn't

550

:

have because it wasn't your what,

like, you know, that kind of thing.

551

:

But now that you sort of reached

this different period of your life,

552

:

you've got these found like very

deep, meaningful relationship.

553

:

Alexandra: yeah, I definitely think so.

554

:

I think it will never

replace having a sibling.

555

:

'cause there's

556

:

Christine: Hmm.

557

:

Alexandra: where it's like, I am

very much an only child and like.

558

:

like my stuff

559

:

Christine: Sure.

560

:

Alexandra: a very particular way, and it

is very, and not that I'm not unwilling

561

:

to share and do stuff, but it is like

if somebody just comes in and like

562

:

totally messes up my space, I think

that's where my only Childness goes.

563

:

And it's like, oh my gosh,

564

:

what has happened?

565

:

But I will say, yeah, in some ways I

think it has filled a void and I, it

566

:

is a, I think it's a beautiful line

between friendship and relationship.

567

:

Not that there aren't moments where

sorry, friendship and sibling.

568

:

not, there aren't moments with different,

you know, where it's not like, oh, I'm

569

:

like, oh, I think I'm experiencing what it

must've been like to truly have a sibling.

570

:

Christine: Mm-hmm.

571

:

Alexandra: you know, 'cause

of like disagreements or just

572

:

difference of opinion and stuff.

573

:

And then in a way that's a little bit

different than I would say a friend

574

:

that I don't consider like a sibling.

575

:

I think there are some additional I.

576

:

Concerns and stuff and, and things that I

bring to that, like if we disagree, like

577

:

how is that going to impact the closeness

of our relationship and friendship in a

578

:

way that I may not worry as much with a,

a friend that I don't consider a sister.

579

:

Trying to think.

580

:

I think a lot of it has been

trial and error when it comes to

581

:

like friendships versus sibling

582

:

Christine: Hmm.

583

:

Mm-hmm.

584

:

Alexandra: I don't wanna say

sibling adjacent, not sibling

585

:

replacement friendships.

586

:

You know, you're definitely somebody

I feel more comfortable, like if I'm

587

:

having an issue or, you know, feel.

588

:

Like I'm struggling with

something like our friendship

589

:

or other people's friendships.

590

:

And I think because I think we

have both taken on that role for

591

:

other people where we do carry so

much it, it is easier I feel like,

592

:

to unload some of that burden and

593

:

Christine: Mm.

594

:

Mm-hmm.

595

:

Alexandra: that for you.

596

:

You don't feel like you always have to

take my stuff, but it is easier to have

597

:

that conversation with somebody who

also feels that level of responsibility.

598

:

So I think there are different

friendships that I am more of a

599

:

different part of myself with.

600

:

Though I have worked in the past to, to

really bring my whole self to friendships,

601

:

but there are definitely certain friends

that I pull out more in me of one

602

:

Christine: Hmm.

603

:

Alexandra: another.

604

:

I dunno if that made sense.

605

:

So I

606

:

Christine: Mm-hmm.

607

:

Alexandra: and I hope that

the people listening go.

608

:

Christine: No, that

definitely makes sense.

609

:

I was sort of thinking about like, do you

find yourself playing the same role in

610

:

friendships as you would with your family,

with, I know for me, like I definitely

611

:

feel like I take on the caretaker role

or the piece, like the problem solver.

612

:

Like I wanna make sure I,

everyone around me is good.

613

:

Alexandra: I think many relationships

and friendships I had in high

614

:

school and, and even college.

615

:

I would, I would say, yeah, and even,

I mean, to some extent moving out here

616

:

in, in North Carolina, took on some of

those roles of kind of like, more of

617

:

like a, a driver, like in a friendship

or a group to get something done.

618

:

If we've agreed to something

like you said, you're a planner.

619

:

Christine: Mm-hmm.

620

:

Alexandra: and I think in many

ways we're very similar in that.

621

:

So that's, that's a nice

alignment in our friendship.

622

:

I will say it probably was not the

best pattern for me to be repeating.

623

:

I don't think I was in friendships

that reciprocated that.

624

:

So I think now I'm developing friendships

with people that I don't always

625

:

have to take that role on, which is

kind of a very nice strange feeling.

626

:

It's

627

:

Christine: sure.

628

:

Alexandra: oh, okay, this is, it doesn't

feel like it's all on me to take care of.

629

:

So it is kind of a nice way to just, to

show up and be present and be engaged.

630

:

Christine: Mm-hmm.

631

:

Alexandra: so I, I would like to

say that yes, I have in the past

632

:

seen just take on that same role

and now saying, okay, hey, maybe.

633

:

Maybe it's time to try,

try on a different role and

634

:

Christine: Yeah.

635

:

Alexandra: fits.

636

:

Try on for that size a

637

:

Christine: Yeah.

638

:

Alexandra: a goldilocks moment there.

639

:

Christine: Definitely.

640

:

since graduating and entering the

workforce, you know, you're, I'm

641

:

surrounded by people who are at different

stages of life, so I've definitely have

642

:

found myself being the young, the

youngest, or one of the youngest people

643

:

in a work setting or, so I sort of, as

those relationships grow from, you know,

644

:

an acquaintance to a working relationship,

to a friendship, I, I don't necessarily

645

:

feel the same responsibilities.

646

:

Or, and it, and it's, it's an

interesting position to be in having

647

:

been, you know, the oldest sibling the

motherly figure and, and friendships.

648

:

To now be in a situation where

I'm the youngest and people

649

:

are looking like, it's weird.

650

:

I don't know how to be anything

different than I am, but, and

651

:

sometimes I've resented that too.

652

:

I'm like, well, just because I'm

the youngest doesn't, doesn't,

653

:

Alexandra: Oh yeah.

654

:

Christine: you know, like, it, it's weird.

655

:

It's hard, hard to describe

656

:

Alexandra: as much as you

wanna break outta that role,

657

:

Christine: yeah.

658

:

Alexandra: like when you're in

that a different role with like,

659

:

you are the youngest, you're

660

:

Christine: Mm-hmm.

661

:

Alexandra: Now I'm not

happy with with, with

662

:

Christine: Yeah.

663

:

Being written off.

664

:

Yeah.

665

:

Like being written off

or Oh, you're young.

666

:

Like, well, you know,

667

:

Alexandra: But I've

668

:

Christine: I may be the youngest

here, but I've, I've been

669

:

the, the oldest my whole life.

670

:

So it's interesting and something I have.

671

:

I never really dug deeper on.

672

:

Alexandra: More to look at later.

673

:

Christine: Alright, so

where do we go from here?

674

:

Alexandra: That's a

675

:

Christine: Can we, how can we

separate past experience from

676

:

how we approach friendships now?

677

:

I think is a good, good question

to lead us into this second

678

:

part of the conversation.

679

:

Alexandra: Mm-hmm.

680

:

Christine: can we actually start fresh or

do our past experiences always sneak in?

681

:

What do you think?

682

:

Alexandra: I would totally love

to be like, oh, absolutely,

683

:

100% we do start fresh.

684

:

And to some extent I think that's true.

685

:

My personal experience is I seem to bring

past versions of me along for the ride.

686

:

Christine: Yeah.

687

:

Alexandra: and some I do need to just say,

Hey, it's okay if you stay in the past.

688

:

I have not yet mastered that art.

689

:

So if any of our listeners have,

can you come share that with us?

690

:

Christine: How do you let that go?

691

:

Yeah.

692

:

Alexandra: you know, before the episode

when, when we were kind of preparing

693

:

to, to start the episode, Christina and

I had a conversation about like, good.

694

:

Like once somebody's like tripped

all over my boundaries and I finally

695

:

hit my breaking point, like I can

very much firmly cut somebody from

696

:

my life and be like, and that's

the last time you can do that.

697

:

Bye bye.

698

:

But up until that point bringing.

699

:

My past experiences, to present situations

I, I have not been the best at, at some

700

:

point I'm definitely trying to work at.

701

:

So, you know, like particularly the

insecure parts, the, you know, the

702

:

moments that I obsess about that

I felt like I did something wrong

703

:

and bringing those moments forward.

704

:

But Christine, what do you feel?

705

:

Do you feel like you're always

bringing past you with you or,

706

:

Christine: I, well, I

definitely, they stick with me.

707

:

I also like to keep them with me because

I feel like it's important to reflect and

708

:

show that past version of yourself love.

709

:

'cause they were doing the best they

could with what they had and the

710

:

tools that they had at the time.

711

:

Alexandra: yeah.

712

:

Christine: but I do, I.

713

:

I do try to make the effort

to start fresh, right?

714

:

, I think a lot of people can relate

to that as you, as you said.

715

:

Alexandra: I

716

:

Christine: but

717

:

Alexandra: though about

718

:

Christine: yeah.

719

:

Alexandra: remembering and

like giving your pastels grace

720

:

Christine: Mm-hmm.

721

:

Alexandra: they, with doing what

they did and with what they had,

722

:

Christine: Mm-hmm.

723

:

Alexandra: I think that's super important.

724

:

Christine: Yeah, I think

725

:

Alexandra: need to hear.

726

:

Christine: Cool.

727

:

Yeah.

728

:

I think maybe they don't necessarily

sneak in, but they definitely help inform

729

:

how I want to do things differently.

730

:

So I maybe I, bring them with me,

but I don't let them sort of take

731

:

the wheel again, if that makes sense.

732

:

I think that definitely shows growth.

733

:

And it's all in how I, how I frame.

734

:

The situations.

735

:

I think, you know, every, everyone

can start fresh, but I think it's

736

:

important by starting fresh to

remember where you've come from

737

:

Alexandra: Okay,

738

:

Christine: and who

you've been in the past.

739

:

Alexandra: There a friendship that

you've recently developed that you tried

740

:

something like that and what was that?

741

:

Or is there something you're

742

:

That you're like, next, new friendship.

743

:

Is this what I'm gonna try?

744

:

Christine: hmm.

745

:

So, I, I would say something that

I've learned from, and has helped me

746

:

a lot in my current relationships,

but also will stick with me with any

747

:

future relationships and friendships.

748

:

I, I cultivate there's only like

so much I can control, right?

749

:

Alexandra: mm-hmm.

750

:

Christine: the.

751

:

The people around me, their

emotional wellbeing is not

752

:

something I need to worry about.

753

:

So learning how to let

that go, focus on me.

754

:

Obviously, I'm still a

very empathetic person.

755

:

But I've definitely have learned

that it's not my responsibility

756

:

to make sure someone else is okay.

757

:

I, I can only do, I can

only do that for myself,

758

:

Alexandra: Mm-hmm.

759

:

Christine: if that makes sense.

760

:

Alexandra: Yeah.

761

:

Christine: so that's something

that I, I sort of I keep with me.

762

:

In the back of my mind when, you

know, someone I care about is

763

:

going through it realizing like

they just need someone to listen.

764

:

They don't want like.

765

:

It's not on me to try

and fix their problems.

766

:

Whether, I mean, I'm always, I'm happy to

offer up advice or a different perspective

767

:

on something, but if they just want

a, a kind ear, I'm happy to be that.

768

:

Alexandra: Mm-hmm.

769

:

Christine: so that's definitely

sort of been the biggest lesson

770

:

I've learned as I've gotten older.

771

:

And I've learned to not

let it stick with me.

772

:

You know, like sometimes it's

hard to shake things off.

773

:

But it's, you know, when somebody sort

of unloads on you, it's not some, I,

774

:

you know, something, I try to, I don't

try and like carry that for them.

775

:

, okay, they've unloaded it.

776

:

I don't need to carry that load.

777

:

No one needs to, it can

just be like released.

778

:

Alexandra: just put it out there.

779

:

No one needs to pick it up.

780

:

Christine: Yeah, exactly.

781

:

So.

782

:

Those, I, I guess would be the

two, two things coming to mind now.

783

:

But what about you what

have you learned recently?

784

:

I'm, I'm flipping the question back

on you about yourself, about, you know

785

:

recent relationships, current ones,

786

:

what stuck out to you?

787

:

Alexandra: I like what you said

about, not having to be responsible

788

:

for other people's emotions and stuff

in the sense of like, if somebody's

789

:

just unloading, they're just

unloading it and it's not newer or my

790

:

responsibility to help them fix it.

791

:

Christine: Mm-hmm.

792

:

Alexandra: think is sometimes the role,

like, as I said, like a caretaker,

793

:

like a fix it role for people.

794

:

So that's something I'm, I'm

definitely learning to just go,

795

:

Hey, we're having a conversation.

796

:

I, somebody says,

Alexandra, I need your help.

797

:

Christine: Mm.

798

:

Alexandra: your help solving this.

799

:

Can you, you help?

800

:

I don't need to,

801

:

Christine: Insert yourself.

802

:

Alexandra: and problem solve for them.

803

:

Christine: Yeah.

804

:

Alexandra: So that's definitely

something I need to take on.

805

:

And then I think the other thing

is something my mom's been trying

806

:

to, to impart to me since I was a

kid was I don't have to be friends

807

:

with everyone, it sounds weird.

808

:

and probably were people

like, yeah, Alexandra, no duh.

809

:

And I'm just like, yeah, it's

actually not that obvious to me.

810

:

So I think there's a, a good example of

like, I was hanging out with some people

811

:

and I definitely gravitate towards one of

those friendships more than the other one.

812

:

And it's like, okay, you know, having

to examine myself, why do I feel this

813

:

obligation if I wanna be friends with

one, that I have to be friends with both

814

:

and, and even if it doesn't feel aligned.

815

:

So I think that's something that that's

a cycle to change, not just accepting

816

:

and putting energy into everything.

817

:

And everyone

818

:

Christine: Hmm.

819

:

Alexandra: of focusing because I do

seem to do better with I have more

820

:

meaningful connections with people.

821

:

The ones that I choose and feel

like I resonate with versus.

822

:

When I just try and force myself outside

of a, you know, to, to put myself out

823

:

there and make more friends, it seems

like, I feel like I get lost and then I'm

824

:

doing a lot more to please other people.

825

:

So I think that's where I can see a, a

pattern reemerge is like, oh, okay, if

826

:

I fall into the habit of like, I should

be everyone's friends, so I do this,

827

:

Christine: Mm-hmm.

828

:

Alexandra: that's where I'm

starting to see something.

829

:

I'm like, okay, maybe I don't need to.

830

:

So,

831

:

Christine: Mm-hmm.

832

:

Something that just popped up for

me too as you were sharing was it's

833

:

okay that people feel uncomfortable.

834

:

Alexandra: Hmm.

835

:

Christine: I feel like there's been

a, it's an, it's interesting to sort

836

:

of see how, you know, our society

has fallen into this mode of like not

837

:

allowing people to feel uncomfortable.

838

:

And sometimes things just are awkward

and weird or, you know, people's actions

839

:

affect people in a myriad of ways.

840

:

And being uncomfortable is not something

that we need to shelter people from.

841

:

, especially with Yeah,

especially with children.

842

:

I, I mean, I don't, I'm not yet a parent.

843

:

But I definitely hope to be one, one day.

844

:

And so it's something I think about.

845

:

I have a lot of people I went to school

with, high school who've gotten married

846

:

and are starting to have children.

847

:

And I just think about how my parents

raised me and my sisters and not to

848

:

say my parents were perfect, but they

849

:

learned a lot from how

their parents handle things.

850

:

And I've definitely learned a lot

from how my parents handle things.

851

:

But this idea of like, not allowing

kids to feel uncomfortable, to

852

:

be upset, to go through hardship

is really doing a disservice.

853

:

Alexandra: Right.

854

:

Because there'll be many experiences

in life when you're out in

855

:

the working, the workforce or

856

:

Christine: Yeah.

857

:

Alexandra: life where if you

come to a moment and it's just

858

:

like suddenly, oh, you know, this

is hard, this is uncomfortable,

859

:

I don't know how to handle it.

860

:

Then it's like, yeah, we've stunted

861

:

Christine: Right, right.

862

:

It's like we need, we need kids

to know what it's like to lose

863

:

or to fail or to fall down.

864

:

That's what builds character.

865

:

That's what teaches them resilience,

you know, to not give up at the first

866

:

sign of , things not going their way.

867

:

So that's another thing as well, for me

and my relationships, my friendships, you

868

:

know, sometimes things is just awkward,

uncomfortable, and like, but, but facing

869

:

it head on and having a conversation

about it, not shying away from it.

870

:

Like, like you and I, we, we've,

we do that I all the time.

871

:

Not all the time, but, but we're not,

we don't shy away from it, right?

872

:

Like, we face things head on because.

873

:

You're my person and I think

I'm your person, right?

874

:

Like, right,

875

:

Alexandra: Very transparent with ya.

876

:

At dance, we had a, we had

an uncomfortable conversation

877

:

about the podcast and like,

878

:

Christine: yeah.

879

:

Alexandra: we were doing and

like, we just figured like, oh,

880

:

something wasn't gelling, right.

881

:

We were just right.

882

:

It was

883

:

Christine: Mm-hmm.

884

:

Alexandra: even like, I'm not

somebody who enjoys conflict,

885

:

but you are absolutely right.

886

:

It's not something that we as

people should avoid and run from.

887

:

And I'm saying conflict in that.

888

:

I think that's a over

exaggeration of what that was, but

889

:

Christine: No, but yeah.

890

:

Alexandra: like, oh, I need to

have a conversation with Christine.

891

:

I'm going, I'm sweating.

892

:

I'm sweating.

893

:

Oh my gosh, my

894

:

Christine: Right.

895

:

Alexandra: it's

896

:

Christine: Well, you, you were

having, you were having this

897

:

conversation with yourself

898

:

Alexandra: Yeah.

899

:

Christine: and you didn't know how

I was gonna react and like, and, and

900

:

that's, that's true with anything, right?

901

:

Con no one I think likes conflict.

902

:

Maybe some people do.

903

:

But you know, if you care about somebody,

you don't wanna end up in that situation.

904

:

But it truly, I think,

benefits any relationship.

905

:

You have friendship too.

906

:

Alexandra: certainly came

out with a better plan and

907

:

Christine: Yeah.

908

:

Alexandra: and and, and I think

we talked about this in a past

909

:

episode, like our friendship had a,

a rocky moment and we worked through

910

:

Christine: Mm-hmm.

911

:

Alexandra: Sat down and talked

about it and it was great.

912

:

It was a lot easier.

913

:

And it's almost like you said,

building it up in our heads and we

914

:

don't really know how people are gonna

react until we have a conversation.

915

:

Christine: Mm-hmm.

916

:

Alexandra: it's like sometimes

it starts and then it's like, oh,

917

:

wow, that uncomfortable moment

was still kind of uncomfortable,

918

:

Christine: Mm-hmm.

919

:

Alexandra: But the more we, you

know, talk or we get into it, you're

920

:

like, you start to loosen up and

you're like, okay, we're gonna

921

:

Christine: Yeah.

922

:

Alexandra: Like, this is

923

:

Christine: Yeah.

924

:

Alexandra: little bump, or this is, you

know, just a conversation we need to have.

925

:

And

926

:

Christine: Mm-hmm.

927

:

Alexandra: even if it's a

miscommunication, I've had

928

:

that with a, a couple coworker.

929

:

A coworker

930

:

Christine: Mm-hmm.

931

:

Alexandra: the, the only child who's

a major extrovert and I was like,

932

:

took something in away and I was

internalizing and she comes to me,

933

:

she's like, okay, I dunno what this is.

934

:

We're gonna talk it out.

935

:

And I was like, okay.

936

:

Like, I'm sorry I wasn't trying to, to

take responsibility for my own feelings.

937

:

I'm like, but you're absolutely right.

938

:

I need to get outta my way.

939

:

And we, we talked and, and she's like,

oh honey, I don't even care about that.

940

:

And I'm sitting there, I was like, I'm

like, I thought I hurt your feelings.

941

:

And then I felt terrible

and I was like, oh my gosh.

942

:

You know?

943

:

Christine: Yeah.

944

:

Alexandra: is, it is definitely worth

for friendships that are meaningful

945

:

and valuable you wanna keep around.

946

:

I think it is worth having those awkward

and uncomfortable conversations and,

947

:

Christine: Mm-hmm.

948

:

Alexandra: almost comfortable

in that uncomfortableness with

949

:

those people who particularly as

like, almost like, training wheels

950

:

for other real world situations.

951

:

Christine: Right,

952

:

Alexandra: That was

953

:

Christine: And.

954

:

Alexandra: winding conversation.

955

:

I love where that went.

956

:

Christine: Yeah.

957

:

Me too.

958

:

Yeah.

959

:

And I think also, just one more

thing to, to add to it is when

960

:

knowing when to let stuff go, Right.

961

:

stuff's gonna come up, things are

gonna be uncomfortable sometimes,

962

:

but once you have the conversation,

it's time to move forward from it.

963

:

Alexandra: Yep,

964

:

Christine: to let it go.

965

:

And, and in a way you're starting a

little, you're starting fresh, right?

966

:

You've, you've resolved something

and we're moving forward.

967

:

That's in the past.

968

:

And I, think that can be

something people struggle with

969

:

too, is, is letting things go.

970

:

Alexandra: yeah.

971

:

Christine: Yeah.

972

:

Alexandra: And it's interesting saying

that on the other side, I also do see the

973

:

benefit of you just kinda letting stuff

go and, and like you said, a fresh start,

974

:

Christine: Mm.

975

:

Alexandra: from those experiences.

976

:

I can see in those situations I'm

like, wow, this is such a benefit.

977

:

And then there's other stuff that

it's just still hard to let go.

978

:

So I think we're

979

:

Christine: Mm-hmm.

980

:

Alexandra: a work in progress.

981

:

Christine: Yes, indeed.

982

:

Alexandra: And I think every iteration

of a friendship and, you know, even the

983

:

loss of friendships and the, the gaining

of new friendships, even how no matter

984

:

how long or short, temporary can always

bring back beneficial information of how

985

:

we, how we show up in the friendships

that have stayed around and how they

986

:

grow and change and adapt with us.

987

:

Because I think if we had

the same friendship that we

988

:

had back when we first met,

989

:

Christine: Mm-hmm.

990

:

Alexandra: I don't know that we

would still be friends because

991

:

Christine: Mm-hmm.

992

:

Alexandra: grow and change,

you know, and I think that's

993

:

Christine: Yeah.

994

:

Alexandra: to realize too with

friends is that, you know, kind

995

:

of on that journey together.

996

:

Christine: I'm eager to see what

others might, how, how this has, what

997

:

this has brought up for other people.

998

:

Alexandra: Mm-hmm.

999

:

Definitely.

:

00:47:43,392 --> 00:47:46,733

Christine: Do you relate to what we're

talking about, wherever you fall, whether

:

00:47:46,733 --> 00:47:48,023

you're the oldest or the youngest?

:

00:47:48,103 --> 00:47:49,693

And if, if you aren't the oldest.

:

00:47:50,383 --> 00:47:50,863

Okay.

:

00:47:51,133 --> 00:47:52,033

I wanna learn more.

:

00:47:52,033 --> 00:47:54,713

I'm definitely gonna have a

conversation with my sisters

:

00:47:54,713 --> 00:47:56,873

about this get their take on it.

:

00:47:57,443 --> 00:48:03,263

But I would love to hear from other,

older, older daughters especially how,

:

00:48:03,263 --> 00:48:05,123

how you relate to this conversation.

:

00:48:05,453 --> 00:48:07,663

And, and for those out

there who are only childs.

:

00:48:07,708 --> 00:48:08,758

Alexandra: Other only children,

:

00:48:09,283 --> 00:48:09,763

Christine: Yeah.

:

00:48:09,874 --> 00:48:10,322

Alexandra: definitely.

:

00:48:10,322 --> 00:48:15,972

I think we have, you know, all very varied

experiences even within similar roles.

:

00:48:15,972 --> 00:48:16,302

Like

:

00:48:16,582 --> 00:48:16,662

Christine: Hmm.

:

00:48:16,842 --> 00:48:20,082

Alexandra: every big sister is not gonna

have the same, same experience too.

:

00:48:20,082 --> 00:48:22,632

And, So I'd love to hear from people.

:

00:48:23,472 --> 00:48:27,252

that note, I feel like that's a

really wonderful wrap in conclusion

:

00:48:27,252 --> 00:48:29,862

to today's conversation, where we

:

00:48:29,882 --> 00:48:30,102

Christine: Yes.

:

00:48:30,732 --> 00:48:35,202

Alexandra: this very interesting topic

that Christine found for us today of being

:

00:48:35,282 --> 00:48:40,082

you know, how birth order can, being an

only child might impact the way we make

:

00:48:40,082 --> 00:48:45,452

and maintain friendships from the natural

ease of connection to the struggles of

:

00:48:45,452 --> 00:48:47,192

stepping outside of our comfort zones.

:

00:48:47,192 --> 00:48:51,032

It's clear that our early roles and

our family dynamics can play a big part

:

00:48:51,362 --> 00:48:53,282

in how we show up in our friendships.

:

00:48:54,647 --> 00:48:57,857

As we move forward, we keep in

mind the ways that we can be more

:

00:48:57,857 --> 00:49:02,027

intentional about making friends and

embracing our roles within friendships.

:

00:49:02,417 --> 00:49:06,887

Maybe that means being more open, taking

the first step, or even rethinking how we

:

00:49:06,887 --> 00:49:09,167

show up for the right people in our lives.

:

00:49:09,917 --> 00:49:11,987

Now, we'd love to hear from you all.

:

00:49:12,467 --> 00:49:17,717

Have you noticed how your birth order

affects how you make friends, or do you

:

00:49:17,717 --> 00:49:21,587

think that other factors play a bigger

role in showing up in friendships?

:

00:49:21,707 --> 00:49:25,607

Share your thoughts with us on social

media or by dropping off some message.

:

00:49:25,877 --> 00:49:29,627

Let's keep this conversation going and be

sure to tune into next week world, we'll

:

00:49:29,627 --> 00:49:31,337

be diving into the power of the word.

:

00:49:31,337 --> 00:49:31,667

No.

:

00:49:32,657 --> 00:49:36,497

it's a complete sentence, why it

can be so hard to say it without

:

00:49:36,497 --> 00:49:39,617

justification and how we can all

be more comfortable using it.

:

00:49:40,217 --> 00:49:42,497

Thanks for listening, and if

you enjoyed this episode, don't

:

00:49:42,497 --> 00:49:45,347

forget to subscribe and leave a

review and share it with a friend.

:

00:49:45,407 --> 00:49:48,287

Until next time, keep

reflecting and keep growing.

:

00:49:49,157 --> 00:49:49,877

Bye.

:

00:49:49,922 --> 00:49:50,702

Christine: Bye guys.

:

00:49:50,702 --> 00:49:51,332

We'll see you soon.

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About the Podcast

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About your hosts

Profile picture for Christine Borowsky

Christine Borowsky

Introducing our enchanting co-host Christine, a nostalgic soul with a creative spark and an infectious optimism. A devourer of books, a music aficionado, and a film buff, she's immersed in the art of storytelling. Nature is her sanctuary, from forests to oceans. Eager for adventure, she's a perpetual learner, finding growth in every experience. Family and friends provide her comfort and joy. Unafraid of uncomfortable conversations, she navigates them with humor, believing they're vital for understanding and growth. Join her and Alexandra on this podcast where creativity meets curiosity, and laughter blends with wisdom.
Profile picture for Alexandra Montross

Alexandra Montross

Meet Alexandra, the spirited co-host of this captivating podcast, where everyday topics transform into enchanting conversations. With an old soul and a knack for the eclectic, she weaves a unique blend of organization and quirky charm into each discussion. Alexandra's passions span from wellness to metaphysics and dive into the thrilling world of entrepreneurship. Tune in for her lively perspective and insightful takes, adding a touch of magic to every episode alongside Christine. Get ready for a journey where Alexandra's vibrant energy and depth of knowledge create an unforgettable podcast experience.