Do you want to be my friend? No, seriously!

Alexandra: 00:00:12

Welcome back to The Mirror Project.

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We are your host, Alexandra,

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Christine: And Christie.

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Alexandra: and we're diving into a topic

that is super relatable but not talked

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about enough making friends as an adult.

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And yes, we are calling this one.

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Do you wanna be my friend?

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No, seriously, because let's be real.

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It can feel just as awkward as it sounds.

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Gone are the days when making friends

was as simple as sitting next to somebody

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in class or sharing a snack at lunch.

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As adults between work life and everything

in between, building new connections

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feels a whole, like a whole new challenge.

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Why is it so hard?

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Why does it feel weird just

to ask somebody to hang out?

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And most importantly,

how do we even start?

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today's episode, we are

unpacking all of that.

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We'll talk about why making friends as

adults feel so different, share some ideas

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on how we plan to put ourselves out there.

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So if you've ever found yourself

wondering, how do I even make

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friends at this stage in life,

you are definitely not alone.

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And this episode is for you.

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Let's get into it.

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So the difficulty of making

friends as an adult, Christine,

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Christine: Yes.

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Where do we even start?

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Alexandra: Where do we start?

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Christine: I don't know.

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It's hard.

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Alexandra: It is hard, man.

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Christine: I'll tell you.

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It's so hard.

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And I tell you what this is, this is

something that struck me recently.

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And it's really true.

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The difficulty we, we face

making friends as an adult is.

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It is something I never really

thought about before, but now

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that I'm here, how do we do it?

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Alexandra: I mean, and

particularly after last week's

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conversation where we were talking

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Christine: I know,

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Alexandra: letting go of friends.

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Well, now you've let go of

friendships with, there's space

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in your life to let new people in.

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That's scary.

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Christine: I know.

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Alexandra: Ah.

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It was hard enough when we were kids,

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Christine: It is

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Alexandra: we were in

environments where it was

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Christine: constantly.

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Yeah.

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And speaking.

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Alexandra: out here in the wild.

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I.

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Christine: Yeah, and speaking on that, I

think let's link down in the show notes.

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There's a, a great clip.

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Maybe we'll even link the whole episode.

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We mentioned our love for Mel Robbins in

the last episode, but there's something,

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so there's another clip that we came

across of hers that so beautifully puts

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into words the struggle we all face

and, and how she sort of like puts.

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Into perspective making.

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How easy, like the situation of making

friends as a kid versus as an adult.

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She talks about this idea of once

you graduate and start working,

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the great scattering begins where

all your friend group ends up

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at, maybe all across the country.

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And.

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I think ultimately we need to

shift, shift our, our, our idea and

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our expectations on what it means

to ha make a friend as an adult.

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Right.

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The, the rules aren't the same.

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Alexandra: no,

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Christine: Would you agree?

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Alexandra: by the rules that

worked when we were kids is

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Christine: Well, that's

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Alexandra: set us up well.

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Christine: true, but I think there

is some, there is a takeaway.

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I feel like it can be a lot

easier than we think it.

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You know, as a kid

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Alexandra: True

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Christine: you just sort of be,

you say oh you wanna be my friend.

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Yeah, okay, now we're friends.

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I think that that can be something

we incorporate into, like we don't

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have to overthink it, I think.

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Is

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Alexandra: Christine,

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Christine: overthinker over here?

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I know I'm bad.

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Yeah,

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Alexandra: But you're right.

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Maybe it is as simple as just asking

somebody, Hey, do you wanna be my friend?

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Christine: I don't know.

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Yeah.

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I think also,

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I know sometimes when it comes to setting

expectation, expectations, I think

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like you gotta allow grace for people.

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Being an a, being an adult

is hard, as we now know.

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There's so many things you have to juggle.

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And then also, like once you're outta

school, everybody's on a different track

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and some are moving faster than others.

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Some are getting married, having kids.

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You start working, you're an environment

of all ages, all different stages of life.

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So the people you spend the most time with

are the people you're working with, but.

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It's hard to grow those relationships

because of the commitments

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they have outside of work.

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They have families or people to take

care of or whatever the case may be.

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So I think I've been sort of

coming to terms with the, the fact

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that what it means to be a friend

as an adult is way different.

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And it's just something I

need to learn more about.

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Maybe, I guess, I dunno.

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What do you think?

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Alexandra: So.

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I definitely agree.

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I will say I think I have made some

headway in this this past fall.

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There was friendships, I

did kind of start and new.

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And, but like when I first moved

here, and I know I mentioned this

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last episode, just kind of feeling

lost and not really having a community

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and like I didn't have a job

right away, so like I didn't have.

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That place to go to either and

develop relationships with coworkers.

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So it is very difficult, particularly

if after you said what Mel Robbins

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called the great scattering.

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Like not only are your friends going

in different directions, like maybe

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you've moved somewhere new it is just

sometimes really hard to start over.

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I think it can feel really lonely

and I think I kind of got stuck

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in that loneliness, so, and.

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we've established, get up in my

own head thinking oh, people think

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I'm too weird or too different,

or, you know something, or They're

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not gonna like me so you don't try.

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so I think that's what I, Trying, putting

yourself out there, being okay, being

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awkward or weird or you know, somebody

saying, yeah, that person is not for me.

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We're, we're not friends.

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And just having that be okay.

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So, and it's very interesting 'cause

I mentioned, and my sister had moved

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down here for, for law school, and

that's a very different thing so she

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was moving to a state she had never

lived in before either, she was in

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an environment where people were, I.

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Probably at different stages in life,

like when you come to law school,

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but also probably looking for like

study groups and people to hang

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out with and building connections.

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So you're already, it's like another

chance at university, like you're

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in an environment in person where

you're doing that, whereas with.

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My, my second graduate degree, an all

online program and I make connections

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with people, but it, it's very different

than being sitting in a classroom with

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people or being in an environment in

which you are with people are of a

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similar interest and stage and stuff.

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So, but like you said, Christine, it

is like I've got some really wonderful

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coworkers and great relationships

with them, but it is very different

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'cause I don't necessarily see

them outside of work all the time,

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Christine: Right.

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Alexandra: so

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Christine: Yeah.

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Alexandra: man.

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I feel like they did not prepare us making

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Christine: No.

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Alexandra: as adults when we were kids.

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Christine: Well, I also feel

society has evolved, right?

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Like I saw something recently.

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I mean, this is more about dating,

but I think it also lends to building

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community and making friends.

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A hundred years ago there were like

community events that you would go to,

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like in your neighborhood, like dances

or if you are a, a religious person

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and went to church or you know, the.

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Your parents would introduce you to

their friend's child and who, like it

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was the way people interacted was, is

ha was so different than it is now.

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Like everything's virtual, everything's

social media is like the biggest

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form of connection people have and

in a lot of ways it's a great tool.

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In a lot of ways it's pretty detrimental

to I think society as a whole.

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Alexandra: That's a

whole other conversation.

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Christine: Yes, it's,

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Alexandra: could, that could

be a whole long conversation.

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Christine: but I, I, I feel like

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I'm sort of at a point where I need to

discover new ways to meet new people.

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'cause don't get me wrong, I have

wonderful friends, a great close

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knit group of people who I know I can

call at two o'clock in the morning.

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Maybe.

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Maybe this one over here.

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Maybe.

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I know.

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I'll call her when she's awake.

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Alexandra: Which would

be at like five 30, but

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Christine: True.

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Alexandra: in the morning,

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Christine: Yeah.

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Alexandra: probably her.

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I could call Christina at two

o'clock in the morning and then she'd

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be like, why are you calling me?

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Christine: Yes.

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You're awake?

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No, I, I'll ingest, but like I,

I have those people who I know

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I can call no matter what and I

can count on to be there for me.

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But at the same time, there's a lot of

room for growth, I think for everybody

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to sort of explore different areas

of interest that may not necessarily

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align with the current relationships

I have, but, you know, figuring out

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how to, to take that first step,

meet the, try and meet new people.

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It's hard to do hard to

put yourself out there.

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Yeah.

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Alexandra: I am laughing because

Christine and I send a lot of videos

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back to each other, back and forth

on Instagram, and we, we have a

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similar taste in, in, in books.

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Christine: Yes.

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Alexandra: And I have another friend

who has the same similar taste in, in

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at least part of the book she likes.

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And I was just thinking I wonder

if there's like snot readers

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anonymous, like where you can go

and make friends or something.

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Christine: Probably, I mean,

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Alexandra: like

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Christine: yeah.

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Alexandra: great place for us to go.

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'cause like I'd be like, oh

yeah, these are my people.

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You

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Christine: Yeah.

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Alexandra: it.

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But

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Christine: Yeah.

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Alexandra: those, those roots

of what you enjoy doing and.

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Building connections out of those

because it is very different than the

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past where your social circle could be

expanded by your parents introducing you

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to, you know, people and then beyond.

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Christine: I think for me also, I

just have never really gelled with the

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thought of building community online.

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Alexandra: Yeah.

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Christine: I, I've, I've met people

throughout my life who have friends, like

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they have a whole group of friends that,

that they've met through the internet.

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And I'm like, wow.

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And I don't know if that's because I sort

of got introduced to it later in life.

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I didn't have any sort of social

media until I was in high school.

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Even then, it, it wasn't something

I was necessarily investing a lot

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of my time into, so I wasn't really

meeting new people, I was just

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staying in contact with the people

that I see all the fricking time.

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So, yeah, I, where do we go from here?

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It's so difficult.

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What, how?

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How do we move forward?

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How do we make.

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Make this easier for ourselves.

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Any thoughts?

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Alexandra?

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Alexandra: Well, kind of, and it

struck me this this, this past

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fall and I think I mentioned it

to you on one of our phone calls,

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making friends as an adult seems a

little bit like the other, dating to me.

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Christine: Hmm.

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Alexandra: you know,

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Christine: Yeah.

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Alexandra: yeah, we all know about

dating to meet your person or to

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meet your next hookup, whatever.

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But like in some sense.

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and making friends as an adult

is a little bit like dating.

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you know, there's the, the awkward

moment of hey, nice to meet you.

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Whether it's online or like

introduction and then to like, do,

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do you wanna go get some coffee

and see if this is gonna work out?

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Do we have enough similar

interests to be, to be friends?

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And then you know, kind of somewhat

setting those expectations,

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like what is this relationship

and friendship gonna look like?

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So anyways, that kind of struck

me as a little bit funny, but

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also somewhat kind of true.

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That's you're almost like.

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Christine: Yeah.

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Alexandra: Hey, is it gonna work?

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And you know, you sometimes go

on one one date with a friend and

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you're like, oh, I'm sorry, this

is, this is not gonna go anywhere.

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You know, another ones, it's yeah,

let's be friends forever now.

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So what do you think, Christine?

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I.

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Christine: Yeah, I think there's a,

there's some truth to that for sure.

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I don't know, I don't have much experience

in that realm yet, but it's definitely,

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I mentioned on an earlier episode this

year a goal of mine is to try and make new

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friends, meet new people, grow my circle.

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So I'll have to share some

stories in the future.

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But I think also the easiest place to

start, as you said, is figuring out what

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your interests are, and then from there,

seeing where that could take you and who

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that could, who that can introduce you to.

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And I, I think something that I, I'll need

to work on is like stepping outside of my

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comfort zone and, and taking that first

step of going somewhere by myself, solo.

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I never do that.

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I usually go with at least

one buddy just 'cause

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I have that sort of safety blanket.

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But then does that prohibit

me from meeting new people?

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Potentially.

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Possibly.

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It certainly would limit me.

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Meeting multiple new people at, at once.

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Like maybe if I'm, you know, if

I'm going with a friend, I might

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only introduce myself to one or

two people, but I think like it

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would be a good exercise, character

exercise to push yourself to go solo.

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I think also, like I live in a

wonderful, vibrant community and I really

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haven't been a whole lot a part of it.

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Beyond, you know, like supporting local

businesses, going out to restaurants,

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but there's always something going

on that, you know, for one reason

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or another I just hasn't worked out.

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But I think you also need to make the

effort to try and go, to go there.

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Go, go and put yourself out there

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Alexandra: Yeah.

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Christine: anyway.

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Alexandra: I think for me

a couple examples were.

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had some clients who've turned

into friends and I would just even

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through the conversation like,

wow, you're really interesting.

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Cool.

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You wanna catch up and get coffee?

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And then I had a friend of mine

introduce me saying Hey, I know somebody.

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I think I.

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You guys would make really good friends.

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And so she kind of connected with us.

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And then I briefly met her for a moment.

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She gave me her card.

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I gave her my card, and then we

exchanged numbers and it was like, Hey,

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yeah like let's, let's, we actually

went and grabbed a cup of coffee and

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towards the end of it we were talking

for two or three hours and I was like.

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You are really cool.

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And I hate to cut this short, but

I do have to go work on a paper.

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I'd love to be friends.

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What, what are your expectations of

friendships and that kind of stuff.

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And, and that went into, I have a whole

spiel about like how I am a terrible

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texter, which Christine can tell

you that I, there are moments where

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Christine: Yeah, I just call you just.

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Alexandra: She's like,

all right, well, yeah.

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I actually love that we're doing that

now that we're sending voice memos.

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I think that would be a really

fun way too, for like new

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friends, just sending voice memos.

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But it was, it was really,

it was kind of fun.

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It was awkward.

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It was just, it really was a

moment of, Hey, you seem cool.

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Do you wanna be my friend?

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And it worked.

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So maybe it's not as hard as we were

making it out to be a little bit

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Christine: Yeah, I think the

stakes are definitely what, sorry?

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Alexandra: to put yourself out there.

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Christine: Yeah, certainly

hard to put yourself out there.

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Stakes I think are lower than say dating.

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Alexandra: Mm-hmm.

329

: 00:16:28

Christine: Because of the great thing

is, is like the worst thing that could

330

: 00:16:31

happen is you met somebody you wouldn't

have otherwise met and you wish them best,

331

: 00:16:36

the best and let them go on their way.

332

: 00:16:40

But yeah, definitely I think.

333

: 00:16:47

I think he knows, at least in my

case, I need to get outta my own way

334

: 00:16:50

and just try and sometimes trying

is really scary because you don't

335

: 00:16:59

know what what's gonna happen.

336

: 00:17:01

But I think there's also

some beauty in that too.

337

: 00:17:03

So yeah.

338

: 00:17:06

Alexandra: So what would be some

good friend dates to go on, like

339

: 00:17:09

with new people that you don't

really know a whole lot about?

340

: 00:17:13

What do you think, Christine?

341

: 00:17:16

I.

342

: 00:17:16

Christine: Well, I think, like

343

: 00:17:20

I'm always a fan of an activity, so

whether that's you invite people over for

344

: 00:17:24

a game night or you go, if you've, again,

figure out what your common interests

345

: 00:17:34

are and then from there you can go to.

346

: 00:17:36

I don't know an exhibit at a museum

or I, I tend to like activity,

347

: 00:17:42

like gaming activities, going to

an escape room or I think it also

348

: 00:17:46

can sort of sh reveal to you a lot

about their character and vice versa.

349

: 00:17:52

They'll learn a lot about you.

350

: 00:17:54

I, I wouldn't say I'm the

most competitive person in the

351

: 00:17:56

world, but I like a good game.

352

: 00:17:57

I like a good, so, those are sort

of the things I would be drawn to.

353

: 00:18:01

I yeah, I don't know.

354

: 00:18:06

What do you think?

355

: 00:18:07

Alexandra: I like that.

356

: 00:18:08

I like the games.

357

: 00:18:09

I'd also say, because you know, I'm a fan

of coffee, maybe if there's a downtown

358

: 00:18:13

area, like a coffee shop and then go

359

: 00:18:15

And kind of.

360

: 00:18:17

See what stores like they're interested

or drawn into or you know, 'cause then

361

: 00:18:21

you can talk and then you can talk about

a bunch of different things that you see

362

: 00:18:25

as you're walking in a downtown area.

363

: 00:18:26

You can talk about like a local bookstore

or a vintage shop or anything that

364

: 00:18:31

you're like, wow, I like that kind of

store because I really like jewelry.

365

: 00:18:33

Or, you know, you can learn about

people based on what you kind

366

: 00:18:37

of come across versus, you know,

staying solely in a coffee shop.

367

: 00:18:41

And I think sometimes with

the right people and the right

368

: 00:18:44

friends conversations just click

369

: 00:18:48

and so then it kind of naturally evolves.

370

: 00:18:53

whereas sometimes other times it

is if conversation is difficult

371

: 00:18:57

and stilted, I would say that's an

indication of maybe you know, could be

372

: 00:19:01

an interesting conversation, but it may

not develop into a total friendship.

373

: 00:19:05

So, you know, I think, like you said,

being in an environment where you're

374

: 00:19:08

seeing something new and you're both

experiencing something, that can be

375

: 00:19:11

a great way to kind of get to know

somebody more than just this is who I am.

376

: 00:19:19

Christine: Right, because I'm

definitely of the belief that people

377

: 00:19:21

show you who they are, you know, like

better than tell you who they are.

378

: 00:19:29

So yeah, I think I.

379

: 00:19:32

Experiencing things together is

the best and quickest way to sort

380

: 00:19:36

of really get to know somebody.

381

: 00:19:38

I think also sharing things

or places with them that mean

382

: 00:19:42

something to you and vice versa.

383

: 00:19:44

Have them intro, introduce you to

something that you may not have otherwise.

384

: 00:19:49

Experienced before.

385

: 00:19:51

I mean, I think a lot of what

we're saying also can overlap

386

: 00:19:54

nicely with dating, but but I

387

: 00:19:56

Alexandra: low stakes place to practice,

388

: 00:19:59

Christine: make new friends, everybody.

389

: 00:20:01

That's where you can practice your moves.

390

: 00:20:06

All right, Christine, calm down.

391

: 00:20:10

Yeah, I think also like anything

in life, embrace the awkwardness.

392

: 00:20:14

Embrace the silliness.

393

: 00:20:15

Alexandra: Yeah.

394

: 00:20:16

That's hard.

395

: 00:20:18

Christine: yeah,

396

: 00:20:22

try not to take yourself

too seriously there.

397

: 00:20:25

There's a time and a place for it.

398

: 00:20:27

I know, but there's a time and a

place for all of that, obviously.

399

: 00:20:30

But I think when you're starting out,

400

: 00:20:32

Alexandra: That's

401

: 00:20:33

Christine: try and remember what

it's like to be a kid again.

402

: 00:20:36

Maybe.

403

: 00:20:37

Alexandra: Yeah.

404

: 00:20:40

And putting yourself in environments

in places where you could meet

405

: 00:20:44

new people, Christine said.

406

: 00:20:47

Christine: Yeah, I think I

definitely wanna try and sort of

407

: 00:20:50

see locally what sort of meetups

there are for areas of interest.

408

: 00:20:55

Like I love to do board games.

409

: 00:20:58

I love reading.

410

: 00:20:59

I love being outdoors, the beach hiking.

411

: 00:21:04

I love going to the theater, you know,

like art is really big for me, so I'm

412

: 00:21:10

cer that that's certainly nothing new

or, and there's many people in there who

413

: 00:21:17

probably share those interests as well.

414

: 00:21:19

So I, I.

415

: 00:21:23

I think too, there, there are apps

out there where that are interest

416

: 00:21:27

based specifically, so you can

sort of like set your location, set

417

: 00:21:30

your interest, and it'll sort of

populate different groups and you

418

: 00:21:36

can set meetups and things like that.

419

: 00:21:38

So maybe that's something you I would

look into too if, if I'm struggling

420

: 00:21:42

to sort of find something locally.

421

: 00:21:43

But yeah.

422

: 00:21:46

Alexandra: of made me think of, do

you remember when the, the Bumble

423

: 00:21:49

app came out with a Bumble bff,

424

: 00:21:52

Christine: I do.

425

: 00:21:53

Yeah, I think that's still a thing.

426

: 00:21:55

Alexandra: isn't it?

427

: 00:21:55

It was such a weird I think it came out.

428

: 00:21:59

feature or function came out when

we were in college and it was, I

429

: 00:22:02

remember being so weird because it was

like everyone kind of went into the

430

: 00:22:07

same pool of, you know, connections

431

: 00:22:10

Christine: Sure.

432

: 00:22:11

Alexandra: and it was

like, wait, where is this?

433

: 00:22:13

Who, what?

434

: 00:22:14

Trying to, and then they came out with

Bumble Biz and it was like, no, I'm really

435

: 00:22:18

confused at what this app was doing.

436

: 00:22:22

Christine: Well, I know that for

my sister when she relocated to

437

: 00:22:25

Nashville, she used Bumble BFF to

sort of try and meet new people and,

438

: 00:22:29

Alexandra: Okay.

439

: 00:22:30

Christine: helped her sort of establish

a, you know, a group of friends outside

440

: 00:22:34

of who she probably like her roommate,

her boyfriend, like things like that.

441

: 00:22:39

So.

442

: 00:22:39

Alexandra: Yeah.

443

: 00:22:41

But I like your idea of the other one,

the apps, the, that are interest based.

444

: 00:22:44

So

445

: 00:22:44

Christine: Yeah.

446

: 00:22:45

Alexandra: Come

447

: 00:22:45

Christine: Well,

448

: 00:22:46

Alexandra: any, I

449

: 00:22:47

Christine: yeah.

450

: 00:22:47

Alexandra: on like social media, was

a couple for, I don't remember what

451

: 00:22:54

it was, but it was like setting up

dinners between five random people.

452

: 00:22:58

For dating, but it was

just to meet new people.

453

: 00:23:00

But it

454

: 00:23:00

Christine: yeah.

455

: 00:23:01

Alexandra: like it would be more

456

: 00:23:03

Christine: I've seen that,

457

: 00:23:04

Alexandra: in larger cities,

which is not really where I'm at.

458

: 00:23:07

Christine: right?

459

: 00:23:08

Yeah.

460

: 00:23:08

I think I've seen stuff

like that in New York.

461

: 00:23:10

In New York City, which

I'm obviously close to.

462

: 00:23:13

But

463

: 00:23:13

Alexandra: Yeah.

464

: 00:23:15

Christine: yeah, I think my biggest

takeaway from from this is uh,

465

: 00:23:19

just sort of gotta rethink how.

466

: 00:23:22

How you, you know, you approach

relationships and friendships as an adult.

467

: 00:23:28

Alexandra: Christine.

468

: 00:23:29

Christine: Yeah.

469

: 00:23:30

Alexandra: What are some ideas,

like actionable ideas that you plan

470

: 00:23:33

to take in the next like month or

so to try and make new friends?

471

: 00:23:39

Christine: Hmm.

472

: 00:23:40

Excellent question.

473

: 00:23:46

Well, the next month or so.

474

: 00:23:50

I've already got some plans on the weekend

that are going to introduce me to a group

475

: 00:23:58

of people that I haven't met before.

476

: 00:24:00

I've been invited to, to things through

a friend, like a mutual friend, but I'm

477

: 00:24:05

not gonna know everybody who's there.

478

: 00:24:07

So I think a, I think a goal for me would

be to try and strike a conversation with.

479

: 00:24:13

New people that I meet at these functions,

see if we vibe, if we wanna, you

480

: 00:24:20

know, stay in touch and go from there.

481

: 00:24:22

The, one of the, the

things is outta state.

482

: 00:24:26

So those people I met, I meet, I will

also be from OUTTA state, but if anything,

483

: 00:24:33

it's a good exercise to practice.

484

: 00:24:34

So, and then I think I wanna do some

research into what, what sort of things

485

: 00:24:40

are happening locally that I can go to.

486

: 00:24:42

They're up the street.

487

: 00:24:44

I've been meaning to check

out their community events.

488

: 00:24:47

There's a, a business called House

Freya in the metaphysical space.

489

: 00:24:52

They do events all the time.

490

: 00:24:55

You know, sound healing different sort of.

491

: 00:24:59

Spiritual work sort of workshops

and, and things like that that

492

: 00:25:04

I've been wanting to go to timing

wise just hasn't always worked out.

493

: 00:25:08

But I think since we're freshly in a

new month of the year see what if my

494

: 00:25:14

schedule aligns with anything and try and

check out some of those events as well.

495

: 00:25:19

Yeah.

496

: 00:25:19

Yeah.

497

: 00:25:20

I think those are pretty.

498

: 00:25:22

Pretty actionable for the,

for, for this next month.

499

: 00:25:27

What about you?

500

: 00:25:28

What are you gonna do?

501

: 00:25:29

Alexandra: Well, I'm actually trying

to get a group of people together of

502

: 00:25:32

people I know, but I think that they

would all make really good friends.

503

: 00:25:35

So that's something I'm

working on coordinating.

504

: 00:25:38

But of that maybe like a book club or,

you know, the thing is I really do need

505

: 00:25:44

to do a lot of reading on different,

research reading kind of thing.

506

: 00:25:48

I am trying to write a book on, as I know

Christine knows tarot not so much on the

507

: 00:25:54

history, but like how to begin reading.

508

: 00:25:56

And so I'm trying to look at other,

what others have written and maybe

509

: 00:26:00

where I feel gaps might be so that I

can write the book that I would've found

510

: 00:26:06

really helpful when I was learning.

511

: 00:26:08

Christine: Mm-hmm.

512

: 00:26:09

Alexandra: and maybe instead of doing

that at home in my desk space here,

513

: 00:26:13

maybe I'll go out to a coffee shop and

just have one AirPod in and one ear with

514

: 00:26:17

music and leave the other one open and

be hopefully a bit more open face, not so

515

: 00:26:22

much RBF that I could sometimes get into.

516

: 00:26:26

and just kind of being open for

conversation and maybe somebody

517

: 00:26:29

will see my books and go oh,

hey, that's really interesting,

518

: 00:26:31

and come strike a conversation.

519

: 00:26:35

and I think some of the, the

newer friends that I have.

520

: 00:26:39

Working with them to maybe set

up and do things that where we

521

: 00:26:41

can interact with other people.

522

: 00:26:42

Like Christine said, sometimes

having a buddy makes it helpful and

523

: 00:26:46

maybe having one person to go to

something new with would be super a

524

: 00:26:50

little bit easier you know, somebody.

525

: 00:26:52

But then like you can both go

introduce each other, introduce

526

: 00:26:56

yourselves to other people at an event.

527

: 00:26:58

So there's a couple people

I, I know who would be.

528

: 00:27:01

good support systems for that

and it would be super helpful.

529

: 00:27:05

Christine: Yeah.

530

: 00:27:05

Alexandra: like a book

club or two or something.

531

: 00:27:07

'cause I really like reading

and, somewhere you can go

532

: 00:27:10

and discuss and I was like,

533

: 00:27:13

Christine: Absolutely.

534

: 00:27:13

Alexandra: yeah,

535

: 00:27:15

Christine: Yeah, I think I would

love to join a book club too.

536

: 00:27:17

I, one of the things I've been

really enjoying this year is

537

: 00:27:21

I have been reading a lot.

538

: 00:27:22

I've been reading almost every day.

539

: 00:27:23

I wanna try and keep that up.

540

: 00:27:25

So if I could find a group

of people to sort of.

541

: 00:27:30

Explore that shared interest

with, I definitely think one that

542

: 00:27:34

will keep, keep me going, keep me

reading every day, but also just I.

543

: 00:27:39

Experience all these things when I

read a book and it would be great

544

: 00:27:42

to talk to somebody about it.

545

: 00:27:43

I know Alex and I do that ourselves.

546

: 00:27:46

And we have talked about maybe

doing a sort of mini book club

547

: 00:27:50

with with our listeners here.

548

: 00:27:52

If, if that's something you

all would be interested in

549

: 00:27:55

being a part of, let us know.

550

: 00:27:57

But, yeah, I think that's, that's

a really great place to start.

551

: 00:28:00

'cause I think a lot of people

are, it is certainly a popular

552

: 00:28:04

thing to be doing right now.

553

: 00:28:05

There's you know, book talk,

book talk is sort of blown up and

554

: 00:28:09

sort of made reading Cool again.

555

: 00:28:12

Alexandra: And it certainly

gives you a place from which to

556

: 00:28:16

start in building friendships.

557

: 00:28:17

Like it gives you something that

you're both interested into.

558

: 00:28:21

Especially if people come from it,

like not knowing each other, like

559

: 00:28:24

you're there for a reason and it's

something you already have in common.

560

: 00:28:28

So that's, that's a great

way to build connection.

561

: 00:28:32

Christine: Absolutely.

562

: 00:28:33

Yeah.

563

: 00:28:34

Alexandra: Yeah.

564

: 00:28:35

Christine: Well, this is fun.

565

: 00:28:36

I like this conversation.

566

: 00:28:37

I think this would be something to

revisit and, and maybe not make a whole

567

: 00:28:41

episode about it, but we'll just like

down the line, do a little check-in and

568

: 00:28:44

sort of see how, how this has changed

since we first started talking about it.

569

: 00:28:54

Yeah.

570

: 00:28:56

All right.

571

: 00:28:57

Anything else you have?

572

: 00:28:58

Alexandra: No,

573

: 00:28:58

Christine: Anything?

574

: 00:28:59

Alexandra: that's it.

575

: 00:29:00

I think

576

: 00:29:00

Christine: All right.

577

: 00:29:00

Alexandra: about the awkwardness

kind of getting outta your own head,

578

: 00:29:04

not taking yourself too seriously.

579

: 00:29:06

finding your things that interest you

and, and trying to find connections out

580

: 00:29:12

of things that you are interested in.

581

: 00:29:14

Christine: Mm,

582

: 00:29:14

Alexandra: like a really

great way to friendships.

583

: 00:29:18

Christine: absolutely.

584

: 00:29:19

Awesome.

585

: 00:29:19

All right, well that's a wrap.

586

: 00:29:22

On today's conversation, everybody if

there's one thing we've learned, it's

587

: 00:29:26

that we're all in the same boat wanting

connection, but sometimes feeling a little

588

: 00:29:30

awkward about how to make that happen.

589

: 00:29:32

But just like with anything else, putting

ourselves out there is step number one.

590

: 00:29:38

So let's challenge ourselves

and you to be a little braver.

591

: 00:29:41

Send that text, make that invite, or even

strike up a conversation with somebody.

592

: 00:29:46

Do you never know where a simple hey.

593

: 00:29:49

Do you wanna grab?

594

: 00:29:50

Coffee?

595

: 00:29:51

Could lead.

596

: 00:29:52

As always, we'd love to hear from you.

597

: 00:29:53

How do you approach making

new friends as an adult?

598

: 00:29:57

Let us know your thoughts,

your struggles, and your wins.

599

: 00:30:00

We love wins here, and if you

enjoyed this episode, don't forget to

600

: 00:30:04

subscribe, share, and leave us a review.

601

: 00:30:07

It really helps us keep

the conversation going.

602

: 00:30:09

Until next time, thanks for hanging out

with us and we'll see you on the next one.

603

: 00:30:15

Alexandra: Bye.

604

: 00:30:16

Christine: Bye guys.