Episode 10

Past You Walked So Present You Could Strut

🎙️ Grace for Who You Were – Honoring Past Versions of You

Episode Summary:

We’re all about growth here—but let’s be real: in the pursuit of “becoming better,” it’s easy to forget that past-you was doing the best they could. That version of you? They deserve love, not judgment.

In this episode of The Mirror Project, we’re talking about the importance of grace—not just for the person you’re becoming, but for the person you used to be. Inspired by the quote, “Stop punishing younger versions of you that didn’t know any better” (Julien Blanc), we’re unpacking how to release shame, honor your journey, and move forward with compassion.

🔹 Why hindsight isn’t a fair lens for self-reflection.

🔹 How to stop letting your past define your present.

🔹 Ways to practice empathy—for yourself and for others.

This one’s for anyone who’s ever looked back and cringed. You’re not alone. And you’re not that same person anymore—but they helped get you here.


🎧 Listen Now on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or your favorite platform!

 

✨ Give Past You Some Grace

✔️ How self-awareness grows—and why that’s something to celebrate.

✔️ Why blaming past-you doesn’t serve present-you.

✔️ Reframing “mistakes” as essential chapters in your growth story.

✔️ Our own experiences with hindsight, healing, and reclaiming peace.


✨ Stop Letting the Past Eclipse the Present

✔️ How staying stuck in shame loops stunts growth.

✔️ Presence > perfection—what mindfulness has taught us about healing.

✔️ How to acknowledge your growth without glorifying the pain.

✔️ Tools to root yourself in the now—journaling, breathwork, and mindset resets.


✨ Don’t Judge the Chapter You Just Walked Into

✔️ That Paul Scanlon quote: “Don’t judge someone’s story by the chapter you walked in on.”

✔️ Why people deserve more than a first impression or a surface-level read.

✔️ The power of grace in relationships—especially when we don’t know the full story.

✔️ What it means to hold space without needing to control the narrative.


Closing Reflections

Here’s your reminder: growth isn’t about rejecting who you were—it’s about integrating every version of you with compassion.

Past-you wasn’t perfect, but they were surviving. They were learning. They were trying. And they’re part of the reason you’re still here, still evolving, still rising. So next time your inner critic shows up uninvited, take a breath. You’re allowed to grow without punishing the version of you that didn’t know better. And as you practice that grace inward, offer it outward too. Everyone is mid-story. Everyone is learning. So read with care—and be gentle.

Thank you for being here, for reflecting with us, and for continuing this journey together. Until next time—take care of you. You’re doing better than you think. 💛

 

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📩 DM us your questions & topic suggestions – We’d love to hear from you!

👉 Next week’s episode: More unfiltered conversations, honest reflections, and tools for self-discovery. Hit that follow button so you don’t miss it!

Hit that like, follow, and subscribe button, and we’ll see you next time! 🎙️✨

Transcript
Speaker:

Alexandra (1): Welcome

back to The Mere Project.

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We're your host Alexandra.

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Christine (1): And Christie.

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Alexandra (2): We are often told to

reflect, to grow, to do better, in

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the pursuit of self-improvement, we

sometimes forget something crucial that

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the version of you from five years ago

or even last week, was already doing the

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best they could with the awareness tools

and support that they had at the time.

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We saw this quote recently that said.

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Stop punishing younger versions of

you that didn't know any better.

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This is by Julian Blanc, and honestly,

that hit because how often do we look

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back and cringe at our decisions?

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Feel embarrassed by how we

handled things or judge ourselves

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for not seeing it sooner.

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sight isn't a fair lens.

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Growth isn't a straight line,

and your past self deserves

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compassion and not criticism.

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Today's episode is all about giving

yourself grace and honoring your

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journey, and recognizing that healing

doesn't happen by constantly dragging

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your past self through the mud.

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We're unpacking what it means to truly be

present, how to stop measuring yourself

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by your lowest moments, and how to

extend that same compassion outward to

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others whose stories we don't fully know.

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let's get into it.

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So, Christine.

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This is quite a big topic

we're talking about today.

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Why don't

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Christine (1): Yes.

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Alexandra (2): giving

our past selves grace?

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How does self-awareness evolve over time?

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Christine (1): That's a good question.

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Yeah.

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Well, I think like anything you learn.

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By doing.

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So the more you experience, life

experience, different situations, if

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you take the time to reflect on those,

be think about how you handle those

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situations when they came up, whether

right or wrong, how you chose to do it.

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Like you're doing the best you can

with what you have at the moment.

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But then.

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Taking the time after the fact to sit

and think about how that went will

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lend to you being more self-aware

in the future when you encounter

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something similar or something new.

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And it all sort of helps

you grow, essentially.

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Right?

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And it's really good too.

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Like it's a good, it's.

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It means that you're evolving, but I

think it's important to, when you look

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back at yourself in those moments, to

not try and be critical or negative,

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Which is hard 'cause it's really

easy to pick yourself apart.

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And I think I tend to try to

remember in those moments,

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like I wouldn't talk to Mike.

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Friends or family, the way I'm

talking to myself right now.

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And having that aware, that self-awareness

to be like that, that Christine, that

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version of me, did the best she could.

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At the time, what are you, what's

coming up for you right now?

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I'm sort of like thinking in this

moment of all of multi like several

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different things that, trying to stay

present here, but sometimes it's like

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you get caught up in all of it, even

like when you're, we're just trying to

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have a conversation around this topic.

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But even as you set up that

question to me, I was like,

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just thinking about past me.

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I wish I could give her a hug sometimes.

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Alexandra (2): I agree with that.

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I think giving past me grace is really

hard 'cause there's a few I guess I could

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call 'em like core memories that have

happened throughout different parts of

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my life that have really stuck with me.

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Things that people are like,

you should let that go.

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Like why does that still affect you?

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Or why does that still bother you?

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And I think it's so easy for

me to just look back and I

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should have done differently.

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I should have done better.

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And I think that keeps me always

focused in the past or thinking too much

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about the future or worrying too much

about what other people think of me.

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I do think one of the harder

things of self-awareness, aside

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from giving yourself grace is.

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looking at yourself in a

situation an objective view.

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Because like you said, Christine, it's

very easy and I think both you and

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I have talked about this a lot and

just our phone calls as well as on

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the podcast, like tend to look at the

things and think so harshly of ourself.

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Conversely, I've talked to people

and you know, sometimes myself, you

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wanna even in your own memory, paint

yourself in a more positive light

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than we may actually have been.

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So how do you be fair?

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And objective about what happened.

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So you're not putting undue blame on

your past self, but also really taking

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a look at what happened and your role,

or how you responded to situations.

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So I find that to be not always

easy and almost compound the, you

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know, the blame I throw on my past

self for like, didn't you see that?

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Why didn't you do you know?

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Christine (1): Yeah.

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That's so interesting,

that point you brought up.

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I don't know if I've ever the point

of how people sometimes paint their

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self paint themselves in a better

light than how they actually were.

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I don't know.

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I forget, like that could be a

thing, you know, 'cause that's

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just so opposite of how I operate.

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But that's an interesting point.

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But I think it naturally happens

sometime too, sometimes too.

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Like you're trying to rewrite

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what happened in a sense.

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So if you're trying to paint

yourself in a brighter light,

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they might be in an attempt to.

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Maybe qualm any guilt you're

feeling with how you handled it or

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Alexandra (2): Cope.

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Christine (1): help you cope.

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But I think I would then

challenge people to be like, okay,

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is that really the healthiest

way to go about it?

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Is that really

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Alexandra (2): And I think I have, people

have to have a level of self-awareness to

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Christine (1): Yeah.

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To, to Ray.

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Ooh.

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Alexandra (2): because there some

people who are from an out per side

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perspective are not self-aware.

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Based on how they talk

or different things.

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And it's just did you not

hear how that came out?

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But you know, maybe people are not as

up in their heads as you and I maybe.

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Christine (1): Yeah,

I, yeah, you're right.

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That's probably the case for

a lot of people who maybe are

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lacking in self-awareness.

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I think sometimes my

self-awareness can be a bit of a,

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like a fault of mine.

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Like I, sometimes I just get too

in my head about things and, we

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have a point here that says why

blaming your past self doesn't

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actually help the current you grow.

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I sometimes definitely get stuck

in these sort of cycles almost

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where I fixate on something.

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To your point about how it's like

some, it's so interesting what sticks

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with you and how a lot of people.

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An attempt to help you feel better,

I think say like just let it go.

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But then it, for me, it almost is

like discounting what I'm feeling and

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what I'm going through, because how

I process, I need to talk things out.

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I need first need to, okay, I

experienced what I experienced, I need

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to sit with that for a minute, and

then I need to start talking it out.

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And I think.

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For those, some people in my life,

they love and care about me and

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they just want me to let it go, but

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then I feel like you're not seeing me

and where I'm coming from and being,

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allowing me to, allowing me the chance

to work through what just happened.

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And sometimes that results in me being

stuck in this cycle of continuously,

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like fixating on something that happened,

and I'm constantly thinking about how I

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could have handled things better or how

I should have done something different.

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But then all that does

is just keep me stuck,

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you know, like I'm not able to

move on from it or I'm not able

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to see the, sometimes the the

lesson in it and grow from it.

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Because you, because I think people

can sometimes, and maybe people

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relate to what I'm saying that

they can just grow to be stuck.

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But I definitely think I've done a lot

of work on myself, these, you know, these

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last several years, that I know how I

need to process something when it happens.

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And then also when I look

back on those moments.

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It is almost like, and I don't know if

this is the right way to do it, like

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that's me, that's a past version of me,

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But it's not, that's not

the same version of me.

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So I should almost look at that person

as somebody else and look at that

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person you have love for that person and

that was you at one point, but that's

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not maybe necessarily you anymore.

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So.

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Don't treat her harshly because

I'm the type of person of you treat

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people the way you wanna be treated.

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Taking me back to my grammar school days.

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The golden rule.

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Yes.

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Alexandra (2): It is really interesting.

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I think.

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This is something I know we, we recently

had, well, maybe not so recently.

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Now, it's been a, it's been a little

while, but we had a episode on Intro

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to Therapy something my therapist

has been working on with me is like

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acknowledging and like when moments of

the past come up where I'm being really

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harsh to a past version of myself.

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She's maybe just stop.

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her some love, talk to her.

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And I've found that very to do despite

being really interested in a lot of

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spiritual woowoo practices, things about

like healing inner childhood trauma,

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talking like inner child work, comfortable

with terms and some of that process.

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It's always felt hard to do and I don't

know if it's have such attachment to

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core memories that have, that I've held

onto for far longer than I need to.

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But I will say I had a very

interesting experience and I.

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Where I think I finally actually did

something to talk to my younger self and

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I was riding my upright bike.

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It was in a class and the

instructor had said something.

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I think it was along the lines of,

you only live this life once and

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if you're here, be here, kind of.

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And it was something along those lines.

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I can't remember what it.

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A word for verbatim what it was.

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But it was probably in some ways very

cliche and people go, yeah, well, duh.

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Like even if you accept or believe

in reincarnation, like you do only

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get this life this way one time.

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And something about it, I think it

was like up and out of the saddle

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riding and I just hit me and I saw a

younger version of myself and I'm just.

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Stan I'm writing, I'm climbing.

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It's a hard song.

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I'm going and I'm like,

tears are starting to cry.

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And I'm like I'm actually on set to

my younger self, particularly we've

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talked about like my wake goals

dealing with healing and eating

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disorder and all of that stuff.

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And I finally said, I'm like,

I'm not going to give up on you.

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Like I'm not going to just.

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Throw out my hands, walk away, be

frustrated when this doesn't go

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exactly or as quickly as I want it to.

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Like I'm not going to

walk away from me again.

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So I thought that was really an

interesting moment and something very

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foreign to me giving my past self grace

kind of working to heal some of that.

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So I thought that was a really

interesting, and I think it was

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might've been right after we had talked

about Hey, let's plan this episode.

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So.

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It was just kind of odd.

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I think it was like exercising.

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I got out of my own head and out

of my own way enough for something

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to come up there with it or ride

there with it and acknowledge it.

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But I think that was a lot more

healing 'cause it happened in my

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own time and my own way, in a way

I never thought it might versus.

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Like you said, people, well-meaning

friends, family, talking to you

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like you should just let it go.

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Well, that shouldn't affect you, or, well,

you should just forgive your past self.

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It's so much don't know.

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I think saying just do it is in

some sense, yes, just do it, to

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just let it go, that doesn't, like

you mentioned, allow you the full.

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Process that every individual needs

to work through something in order

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to be able to let something go or to

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Christine (1): Right.

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Alexandra (2): or to give

your past self grace.

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Christine (1): Yeah, it, you

can come off as dismissive,

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And that to me is a trigger that

oftentimes leads me to shut down.

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When I.

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Which is something I try,

I'm trying to work on more.

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It's a coping mechanism.

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I'm trying to protect myself.

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But at the same time, like you need to,

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you need to sort of confront these

things when they, when certain things

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happen or find a way to process it.

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Alexandra (2): For you.

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Christine (1): Yeah,

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Alexandra (2): Do you think if

somebody, instead of just saying, just

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let it go, do you think if somebody

said what do you need to help process

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this in order for you to be able

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Christine (1): to let it go.

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Yeah.

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Alexandra (2): cause that

initial reaction to shut down?

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Christine (1): No, I think

it would because then you're

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not, of being dismissive.

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You're asking me a question, you're

asking me, what do you need or

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how can you, how can I help you?

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Or and a lot of the time where I'm coming

from is those closest to me should know

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me really well at this point, and I'm

trying to be better about communicating

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up front okay, that to me, you're

shutting me down and dismissing me.

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So it's leading me to feel as though.

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Now I have two things to feel bad about,

the thing I'm feeling bad about and the

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fact that you unknowingly are making

me feel bad, that I feel bad, you know?

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Does that make sense?

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Okay, cool.

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So that simple reframe, right,

allows me to still feel like I can

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open up and communicate further.

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And communicate my needs, communicate

process, what I need to process.

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So yeah, I think if that's how

one would approach that for me, I

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think it would be really helpful.

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Alexandra (2): I

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Christine (1): and

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Alexandra (2): file that away.

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Keep that in the back of my mind.

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Christine (1): sure, yeah.

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It's and the story you

shared is really beautiful.

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I.

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I'll be honest, I don't know if I really

like, have talked to past Christine or

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have had that sort of moment recently

where I get so I get to a space where

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I'm out of my own head enough that I

that's something just naturally comes up,

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Alexandra (2): It

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Christine (1): but.

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Alexandra (2): quite a surprise.

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Christine (1): Yeah.

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What you said like you started crying.

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Like, what,

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Alexandra (2): It

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Christine (1): what do you think?

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I don't even know what question

to ask you, but I wanna

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know, I wanna understand more

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Alexandra (2): it took me as

such a, I think it took me by

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Christine (1): mm-hmm.

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Alexandra (2): And I know we talked

about this in the therapy episode and

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like the, my weight has something I have

struggled with disorder, how I think

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about exercise and food, it is a lot

less top of mind than it used to be.

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And I have really shifted my focus

towards what kind of life do I wanna have?

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Moving my body makes me feel good and.

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That said, I can't just sweep

that experience under the past.

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Like I really am working to totally

heal and close up those things.

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And I think it was just a

really, it was a tough ride.

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It was out of the saddle climbing.

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At speed, like at higher speed.

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And that's not something

I'm really good at.

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And so think many versions of me in the

past would just give up and stop and

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I'm like, okay, how do I not do that?

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How do I just not give up?

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So do I just climb out of the saddle

at a slower pace and I just keep going?

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And so then I think it totally

just caught me by surprise.

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about moving my body, just kind

of really listening to the music,

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to what the instructor was saying.

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It all kind of just popped up

for me and when I was like,

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just, can just keep going.

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Like it doesn't have to be perfect.

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I don't have to be at the

top end of those ranges.

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And it was really like a younger

version of me was standing there saying

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like, why have you given up on me

so many times when I didn't do what

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we thought we wanted in that moment?

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And it was just, and the thing is, I

think I did not try to control how I was

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thinking, what I was thinking about it.

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I just really kind of leaned more

into the emotion side of it and saying

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okay, how, not even consciously,

how is this making me feel?

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I'm just saying this is uncomfortable.

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This is new, this is different.

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Stay here.

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Be present, keep writing, keep that

image of younger me, talk to me the

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way I would want to be talked to now.

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But to that younger version, with that

understanding of like where we're at

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and the progress that we've, that I have

made Yeah, it was, and it made me think

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of years ago when my sister had first

bought a Peloton, and I think we had both

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joined a Facebook group when we had our

account set up and somebody was talking,

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I don't wanna say trash and comment of I

don't care why people cry during workouts.

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It's really not that deep.

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It may not be.

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Some people, you know, may not ever

experience emotional breakthrough

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in working out, but sometimes it

may be enough of a physical release

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that allows other things to come up.

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So I think it's, I know we're gonna get

it into it a little bit later, but not

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judging other people's journeys where you

walk in and I think that statement, 'cause

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I thought about that on the back end.

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I got off the bike and then I got a

little insecure and I'm like, was,

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you know, is this even a real thing?

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And it's just yeah, if you, you experience

and need to process something is.

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Important to you and not to judge your

journey by anyone else's, but it was

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very weird and I was just crying and

tearing up and I was, I wanna say by

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not forcing myself to stop, the tears

stopped sooner than I thought I would.

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if that makes sense,

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but I like fully allowed my body to

process those emotions and it went, it was

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like, okay, we don't have to stay here.

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We are doing all the work to process this.

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Process and out and through, so it's cool.

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Christine (1): Wow.

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Yeah, I understand your point

completely about like just letting

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yourself feel 'cause sometimes I

definitely agree, if I try and hold

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back the emotion it gets, it builds up.

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That the release is so overwhelming that

it just, it's harder to come off of that,

342

:

where if you just let your body feel

and it release what it needs to, for

343

:

me, it's always in the form of crying.

344

:

That's my best way to get to

release a lot of energy and a lot of

345

:

just get it out.

346

:

I recently.

347

:

How long ago was this?

348

:

It was just before tax.

349

:

The tax deadline.

350

:

I was.

351

:

Dealing with a lot of things

happening all at once.

352

:

And I sometimes struggle from

panic attacks or anxiety attacks.

353

:

They're very similar.

354

:

I believe where I was on with my sisters

and there just was a lot going on.

355

:

There wasn't anything they were doing,

but I started to notice my body's physical

356

:

response to the stress I was feeling.

357

:

And I.

358

:

It was one of the first times where I was

so aware, self-aware that I was watching

359

:

my body start to have the physical

reaction of a panic attack, that I was

360

:

able to some exercises to try and keep

that from happening, like tr trying to,

361

:

for it to reach the point of a full on.

362

:

Hyperventilation you know,

different things like that.

363

:

And then after I sat and I

was at home at the time, I was

364

:

so I was on with my sisters.

365

:

I finished up with them.

366

:

Then I was at my parents.

367

:

So I was talking with my mom after, and

I was processing why that physiological

368

:

reaction started happening and,

and that's when the release came,

369

:

but in, not in the not in the form

of a panic attack in the form of.

370

:

Okay.

371

:

I'm pro.

372

:

I was able to process why I

started feeling the way I was.

373

:

I'm sh I'm communicating to someone

who I feel safe with, why I was

374

:

feeling the way I was feeling.

375

:

And then the phys, like the

release of in the form of me

376

:

crying, like I just let it happen.

377

:

Like it was the me finishing that

experience, if that makes sense.

378

:

So it was.

379

:

An interesting situation where I had

tools to keep my body from having a

380

:

'cause when you, when I have panic,

they're full body, they're exhausting.

381

:

And they're, but there are ways to

mitigate them and to control how your

382

:

body reacts to stress and anxiety, And.

383

:

It was the first time I was really able

to do that, so I was like sitting here

384

:

now reflecting on this with you all.

385

:

I'm like, wow.

386

:

I'm really proud of me

for being able to do that.

387

:

But I know that I wouldn't be able

to do that if it wouldn't, wasn't

388

:

for the past versions of me who

have struggled with this before and

389

:

the work I have done since two.

390

:

Help manage those responses,

391

:

If that makes sense.

392

:

So, yeah I think I need to,

sometimes I don't always

393

:

sit and think about the

past versions of me because.

394

:

Definitely recently, like in recent years,

I don't wanna get stuck in that sort of

395

:

cycle that I was talking about earlier.

396

:

So I sometimes just don't

even acknowledge it.

397

:

Right now, I'm so grateful for

those past versions of me because

398

:

even though I've had to go through

and I've had to experience those

399

:

really sort of scary moments.

400

:

It helped me be able to manage this

most recent situation, so thanks

401

:

for letting me share that, but yeah.

402

:

Alexandra (2): Do you feel like that,

what started that anxiety, panic attack

403

:

to rise, do you think if those sort of

triggers happened again, you'd be able to.

404

:

Follow the same process,

or do you think you'd be

405

:

Christine (1): I would.

406

:

Alexandra (2): to come into

tip into a panic attack?

407

:

Christine (1): I hope so.

408

:

I mean,

409

:

stressing anxiety can be so unpredictable

because when I, when things start to,

410

:

when I start to get really overwhelmed,

I start to feel the weight of it.

411

:

It becomes physical for me.

412

:

Like I.

413

:

And I almost feel like

I get paralyzed by it.

414

:

Like I can't move, I can't breathe,

and then my brain just starts ticking

415

:

through all of the different things

running through my head that I

416

:

ought to do that I'm stressed about.

417

:

And for that moment in particular, the

way the series of events happened is

418

:

that they were just spaced out enough.

419

:

And I was semi distracted because I

was on with my sisters at the time.

420

:

That as something else was happening,

like I wasn't completely, I

421

:

wasn't alone as it was happening.

422

:

'cause usually those in instances

happen when you are alone.

423

:

I have been alone.

424

:

So the fact that I wasn't alone,

my attention wasn't completely

425

:

focused on what was happening.

426

:

It was, you know, focused a

little bit on my sisters and

427

:

something else that was happening.

428

:

I was able to sort of delineate

where what's causing what.

429

:

I know that's not always gonna happen,

but it it's definitely something.

430

:

It's what I'm going to look back on in

moments when maybe the next time that

431

:

does happen and I am alone, how I could

hand, like, how I could handle it,

432

:

Alexandra (2): Okay.

433

:

Christine (1): that makes sense.

434

:

Yeah.

435

:

Alexandra (2): You mentioned something

earlier, I would like to bring back up

436

:

and you said something about reframing.

437

:

And we have a note here about reframing

mistakes as being a necessary part of the

438

:

process for giving your past self grace.

439

:

And it's really reminiscent of our recent

episode before the break on resiliency.

440

:

Christine (1): Yes.

441

:

Alexandra (2): How have you

been able to reframe things?

442

:

Christine (1): That's a great question.

443

:

Well, first off, it's not easy to do.

444

:

I'm, I think it's a work in progress.

445

:

I'm a work in progress.

446

:

I.

447

:

Some days are better than others.

448

:

Like sometimes I think I've made a lot

of progress on something and then the

449

:

next day, you know, you take one step

forward, two steps back some days.

450

:

I think what has worked for me is,

451

:

I now try my best to

452

:

be kind to myself.

453

:

It's hard to do.

454

:

I, as I, as we said before,

455

:

those past versions of ourselves.

456

:

Did the best they could with

the tools they had at the time.

457

:

I am now looking back, I now have

the privilege to look back on those

458

:

situations with the self-awareness

that I was able to gain from different

459

:

situations throughout my life.

460

:

It's not easy to do, you know,

I think it's natural for people

461

:

to be quick to judge themselves.

462

:

They can be their harsh, they

can be their harshest critic and

463

:

reframing mistakes.

464

:

I don't know if I've figured that out.

465

:

I definitely, it's easier for me to.

466

:

Reframe

467

:

That person did the best they could.

468

:

Usually.

469

:

I mean, I'm not one to just do

something even though I know it's

470

:

wrong, or even though I know,

like that's not gonna be end well.

471

:

So

472

:

have you been able to reframe mistakes?

473

:

I'm trying to think if there's a situation

that I've been able to do that for myself.

474

:

Alexandra (2): I think.

475

:

Some of the big things, like some of

the things I still need to work on

476

:

I dunno that I've been successful at

reframing those situations or my previous

477

:

ways.

478

:

I've handled situations like those so

that I haven't really seen success in or

479

:

feel like I've done well or like somehow.

480

:

Caught the ma got the magic formula

of how to reframe those situations.

481

:

I do think I've worked a lot on reframing

around mental health and weight and stuff,

482

:

and I feel like that's where I've seen

the most success personally for reframing.

483

:

That said, it's not always, like you

said, it's not always easy some days

484

:

it's easier to reframe when like doubt.

485

:

Self-criticism kind of pop up.

486

:

You're like, yeah, okay, reframe.

487

:

That's not what we're doing.

488

:

We're look like, look at it this way.

489

:

What does this mean?

490

:

It's sometimes easier than other

days you kinda get caught up in,

491

:

if it's not just that's going on.

492

:

And there's other things that have

been coming up that I can't seem to

493

:

solve, I can't seem to figure out.

494

:

The reframe becomes a little harder.

495

:

Some of those core memories that I was

talking about that kind of stuck with me.

496

:

I do feel like I have been able

to reframe those situations a

497

:

few times and that's helped.

498

:

And I have.

499

:

I like I'm closer to letting go.

500

:

One of them.

501

:

And then mentioned something this week

and for the life of me, I can't what it

502

:

remember what it was, or there was another

like core memory that had popped up and

503

:

I was like, oh, I haven't thought about

you in a while, nice of you to rear your

504

:

not so friendly head again, because I

was just about to say goodbye to that,

505

:

you know, memory from the second grade.

506

:

But here's one from high school.

507

:

you very much for entering the stage.

508

:

And so it's okay, reframe.

509

:

I'm like, I think I was letting one go,

but now another one's coming in and I

510

:

don't know, maybe it's all just a process

511

:

Christine (1): It's almost like your

brain made space and now something else is

512

:

slotting into that space that's now free.

513

:

So it's okay.

514

:

Alexandra (2): I think that's

a fallacy though, that I have.

515

:

It's okay, once you deal with this.

516

:

Christine (1): Yeah, it's done.

517

:

Alexandra (2): Done.

518

:

And you're like, Nope,

that was just step one.

519

:

That was part A.

520

:

Now let's move on to

part B, subsection 4.3.

521

:

Christine (1): Exactly.

522

:

Exactly.

523

:

Alexandra (2): Yeah.

524

:

Christine (1): Yeah.

525

:

I

526

:

to your point about the big things, I

think that's gonna be something we're

527

:

always gonna be working on, right?

528

:

Like the thought that we're ever

gonna be done working on ourselves.

529

:

That's silly, but I was thinking more and

more, I guess something big for me recent,

530

:

in recent years is came out of I've talked

about this before, my last job situation.

531

:

Necessarily wanna harp on that

again, but it taught me so much.

532

:

And I do find sometimes this

happens where something.

533

:

When I'm driving or when you least

expect it, something pops up.

534

:

Like you hear something on the radio

or not even, or maybe there isn't

535

:

always a trigger, but something

will come up from that time, let's

536

:

say, and I'll start to feel those

feelings that I was going through at

537

:

the time and I was talking to my mom.

538

:

She was like, yeah, that, that's the

funny thing about trauma is that it's

539

:

always going to come to the surface,

usually when you least expect it.

540

:

And it's a moment, it's

an opportunity for you to

541

:

Address what that is,

and in those moments, I.

542

:

Do think back and reflect on that

old version of myself and try and

543

:

give her a hug or comfort her and let

her know that you made it, you got

544

:

through it, you're out the other side

and you are stronger because of it.

545

:

That's what I needed to hear at the time.

546

:

So that's what I can give her now.

547

:

Right.

548

:

Yeah, I, that just, that's so

interesting that just sort of came up.

549

:

I had, several months ago I was driving

home from work one day I was driving

550

:

back to my parents' house and yeah,

something just sort of came up for

551

:

me from that time when I was really

struggling and I couldn't necessarily

552

:

tell you what it was specifically,

but I know it was a trigger for me to.

553

:

Help process that in that moment.

554

:

wow.

555

:

I'm in my feels.

556

:

Maybe let's now take some time to

talk about how we can stop letting

557

:

the past eclipse the present,

because I know that could be hard.

558

:

Staying present, it's really easy

to, to time travel to the past or

559

:

get caught up in worrying about what

could happen or what the future holds,

560

:

But.

561

:

How can mindfulness help us be present?

562

:

Alexandra (2): So I was

563

:

listening to, I know we talked about it

in a recent episode, and the book, why Wu

564

:

Works, and there's a chapter on meditation

and he goes into Mets and meditations.

565

:

So loving kindness meditations,

and I haven't done a whole lot

566

:

of meta meditations, however I.

567

:

I think it's something I wanna sit

down and do more of or listen to

568

:

more guided meta and meditations.

569

:

It's, I maybe bring up or hold images

of younger me and give her love and

570

:

kindness for those kind of moments.

571

:

'cause I think mindfulness is a

really, I key practice in letting

572

:

the past not eclipse you in the

sense of you just kind of sit there

573

:

and notice but not get attached.

574

:

To how your train of thought would

have progressed at that point.

575

:

So maybe a little bit more of a witness

meditation where you kind of just, if

576

:

something pops up, you just go, I see you.

577

:

And not catch onto it.

578

:

'cause I think, like you said, like a

lot of like time traveling to the past

579

:

or concern, worry about the future.

580

:

I tend to get stuck there.

581

:

So I think meditation

to stay in the present.

582

:

When you work to let go of the past

when you work to just say, Hey,

583

:

acknowledge past versions of myself.

584

:

We're doing the work.

585

:

It's not that I'm leaving you behind, but

we don't need to move forward into the

586

:

version we thought we would be at this

time because we want different things now.

587

:

And I think that's something

I've noticed recently.

588

:

I'm like, I'm not.

589

:

Why do I have a hard time

590

:

forgiving my past self for not blaming

her, for saying it was okay when the

591

:

future she wanted is not what I want

now, but somehow it's like I'm still

592

:

trying to chase that future and I'm

disappointed that I can't get it.

593

:

I don't know if that

answered your question.

594

:

But I feel like just

595

:

Christine (1): Well, I,

596

:

Alexandra (2): present.

597

:

Christine (1): yeah, no, I think it

does, but it, you bring up an interesting

598

:

point about your experience and how.

599

:

What we want as we grow

and evolve changes.

600

:

But how sometimes you can get

stuck on what you thought you

601

:

wanted two versions of you ago.

602

:

Alexandra (2): Right.

603

:

Christine (1): And I don't know if

it's so much, I don't know if it's

604

:

like you gotta grieve what you thought

you wanted and maybe it's a grieving

605

:

process or what the case may be.

606

:

But your point about how meditation

can be a tool in helping you stay

607

:

present by when things come up.

608

:

You don't have to necessarily acknowledge

beyond saying, okay, you've come up.

609

:

Thank you.

610

:

Have a good day.

611

:

And just letting it go, not grabbing

onto it because, I think a lot

612

:

of people struggle with that.

613

:

If something pops up, they grab

onto it and it makes me wonder,

614

:

both you and I have seen the

benefits of meditation, of deepening

615

:

our own mindfulness.

616

:

How that isn't, but that isn't

always the case for other people.

617

:

People just don't see that as

something that could help them.

618

:

But then I wonder

619

:

how are they helping themselves?

620

:

What?

621

:

What are.

622

:

If they are, maybe they're not, maybe

they're just like, this is life, you

623

:

know, and there there's no fixing it

or, and I don't, I think fixing, I think

624

:

that's where people maybe get stuck.

625

:

I don't think it's a matter of fixing.

626

:

Matter of learning and.

627

:

Trying Different trying again.

628

:

Different next time.

629

:

I don't know.

630

:

Alexandra (2): It's a process.

631

:

It's not a and done fix.

632

:

I will say the other thing I have.

633

:

A struggle with, terms of meditation

is sometimes getting too distracted,

634

:

Like allowing my mind to wander

and I'm like, ah, this is not

635

:

really the time to wander.

636

:

It's the time to stay present.

637

:

And I feel like if I wander,

I'm distracting myself because I

638

:

might be thinking about my to-do

list or the things I have to do

639

:

when I'm meditating, you know?

640

:

Christine (1): Yeah, sure.

641

:

I, but I also think that is a

learning opportunity for you

642

:

To be aware of where you're at.

643

:

And I think I've heard I feel like

I heard at one point where I said I

644

:

sometimes really struggle with meditation

because I find my mind does wander

645

:

I thought the whole point was to

not think about things, but someone

646

:

shared with me like that isn't

necessarily the point that when things

647

:

do come up or your mind does wander.

648

:

It's a chance for you to sort of,

649

:

not necessarily engage with it,

650

:

Bookmark that and be like, okay when

I'm done here, let's go back to that.

651

:

Alexandra (2): Like lovingly

and kindly come back to the

652

:

Not, yeah.

653

:

Running off through those thoughts.

654

:

And I think that's why it's a

beautiful thing to call it a practice.

655

:

Right.

656

:

Christine (1): Absolutely.

657

:

Yeah

658

:

you're not gonna be perfect at it.

659

:

There's always gonna be

room for improvement.

660

:

Also, how exhausting is could,

how exhausting is it to think like

661

:

you have to be perfect at that?

662

:

That's, it's something that objectively

is so simple, but is incredibly difficult.

663

:

A lot of people underestimate

how difficult it is.

664

:

I constantly underestimate how it

is, how difficult it can be, so,

665

:

Alexandra (2): Have you had any, I

think you briefly started to talk about

666

:

something similar earlier, and in getting

stuck in a cycle of a past version of you,

667

:

Have you ever experienced where like

negative self-reflection gets you

668

:

stuck in kind of a loop of shame?

669

:

How do you, how have you

pulled yourself up out of that?

670

:

Christine (1): That's hard.

671

:

The best way I know how to pull myself

out of something is to talk about it.

672

:

And try and talk out why I'm

feeling the way I'm feeling.

673

:

And I think sometimes I can get so

frustrated because while I'm trying

674

:

to communicate how I'm feeling or talk

out and process why I'm feeling the

675

:

way I am, sometimes I get caught up in

okay, I'm not able to articulate it.

676

:

And that's what becomes I the

focus of my negative self.

677

:

Talk.

678

:

Because, and then it just is a clue

to me like, okay, we need to come

679

:

back to this at another time, right?

680

:

This is something I'm not gonna

be able to solve right now.

681

:

That's okay.

682

:

Let's come back to it.

683

:

And that's how I've been able to

sort of pull my, out myself out

684

:

of moments where I'm sort of stuck

in this loop of guilt or shame

685

:

Alexandra (1): So we were talking about

I feel like that's a great segue into and

686

:

covers a lot of things like tool to stay

the present, kind of come back to center.

687

:

I was talking to recently.

688

:

Not so much in the terms of like

reflecting on past selves, but like if

689

:

you kind of get stuck in a thought pattern

or worrying about something or negative

690

:

thoughts about a situation, a person,

something she had read or is trying to

691

:

do is to kind of come back to something

very mundane in the present moment.

692

:

So if you are.

693

:

Dreading a call from your boss or

a family member instead of kind

694

:

of running down the mental thought

pattern of where that might go.

695

:

Particularly if this is like a

irritant or a frustration that you

696

:

continually have just saying, oh,

look at that floor lamp on the floor.

697

:

Look at that headphone.

698

:

Like something very mundane.

699

:

Kind of like as a way to

quickly snap you back into.

700

:

So it's something I've been trying to do.

701

:

It's definitely one more

thing to have to remember,

702

:

I have found it slightly helpful.

703

:

So I think that's a,

704

:

Christine (2): Basically

like you're tricking yourself

705

:

and distracting yourself.

706

:

Right.

707

:

Finding a way to,

708

:

Alexandra (1): back to the present.

709

:

Christine (2): yeah.

710

:

Break you out of where you

are and bring you back here.

711

:

Yeah.

712

:

That's good.

713

:

That's, oh, I like that tip.

714

:

Alexandra (1): The

715

:

Christine (2): Excuse me.

716

:

Alexandra (1): section that I definitely

wanna make sure that we hit, because you

717

:

brought up a really interesting point

when we were outlining this episode.

718

:

How do you acknowledge growth

without glorifying the struggle?

719

:

So what, what Christine, for you

brought up that thought, like

720

:

when we were talking about this,

you're like, Ooh, I wanna hit this.

721

:

Christine (2): So that point to me was

just very reminiscent of our recent

722

:

conversation that we had our resilience.

723

:

Alexandra (1): Mm-hmm.

724

:

Christine (2): conversation where

we particularly were talking about

725

:

like ego and surviving situations.

726

:

Us, like for instance, when it

comes to resiliency ego doesn't

727

:

play a part in that, right?

728

:

It's not, not something to brag about,

like where whereas someone who is a little

729

:

more self-absorbed or self-centered or

their ego sort of rules them, they'll be

730

:

like, oh, well I survived X, Y, and Z.

731

:

This for me, ways to acknowledge

growth without glorifying the struggle

732

:

is it's very reminiscent of that.

733

:

And.

734

:

I think it also,

735

:

requires self-awareness.

736

:

Alexandra (1): Mm-hmm.

737

:

Christine (2): And that's not the

point, like what you went through.

738

:

The point isn't to be to feed your ego.

739

:

It's to help you evolve

as a human and grow and.

740

:

Be better.

741

:

And that doesn't mean you need,

it's not something for you to brag

742

:

about and be like, look at me.

743

:

But it is something

744

:

for you to acknowledge for yourself.

745

:

And be proud of yourself,

746

:

Alexandra (1): Mm-hmm.

747

:

Christine (2): you know?

748

:

Does that make sense?

749

:

I don't know if I'm hitting on

exactly what you were intending

750

:

me to, but yeah, that's sort of

what in this moment has come up.

751

:

Alexandra (1): No, I think

that's, that's great.

752

:

I think it's a,

753

:

I think it's important too, right?

754

:

If we glorify that struggle,

then we're still kind of

755

:

staying stuck in the past versus

756

:

integrating that change,

that growth, moving forward.

757

:

Christine (2): That's perfectly put.

758

:

Yes.

759

:

Absolutely.

760

:

Alexandra (1): All righty.

761

:

Well, you have any last thoughts on that,

or are we ready to kind of move into

762

:

Christine (2): Let's, what

else we got to chat about?

763

:

Alexandra (1): Okay, so the last

major thing that we wanted to hit

764

:

on this episode was working to

not judge the chapter you walked

765

:

in on in other people's stories.

766

:

And I feel like this is kind of

connected to something we first

767

:

said in the beginning where like

768

:

sometimes people are very self-aware

and they might be very critical

769

:

of themselves, but other people

may not be self-aware and not

770

:

may paint themselves in a better light

771

:

Not.

772

:

I think there's always two sides

to every story and there's multiple

773

:

people involved in a situation.

774

:

I think it's very easy to fall into

a trap of this person is X, Y, Z, but

775

:

we don't really know where they are

in their chapter or their journey.

776

:

And I think this really came about when

somebody, like on social media, he had

777

:

said Paul Scanlon, and I think we've

talked about one of his quotes before,

778

:

Quite literally don't judge someone's

story by the chapter you walked in on.

779

:

Christine (2): Yeah.

780

:

Alexandra (1): And I

it's interesting, right?

781

:

Because first impressions can

tell you a lot about a person,

782

:

But they aren't necessarily

the whole story.

783

:

Christine (2): Yeah.

784

:

Alexandra (1): Don't discount first

impressions, but don't rely so

785

:

heavily on them like there's, you can.

786

:

Have a judgment, but you also sh

hopefully should have compassion.

787

:

Now if someone continues to show up the

way their first impression was, then it's

788

:

then you can say, Hey, maybe this person's

not meant to be in my life right now, or

789

:

I'm not, this is not something I don't

need to be around if I don't have to be.

790

:

Christine (2): Right.

791

:

Alexandra (1): But what

are your thoughts on

792

:

Christine (2): Yeah.

793

:

So this actually,

794

:

the idea of first impressions also

sort of, I think is it goes hand in

795

:

hand with this other thought that

I've been reflecting on recently.

796

:

For instance, my sisters were in town

recently for my mom's birthday, and it's

797

:

the first time in a long time that we were

all together again and they live far away.

798

:

They live in other states.

799

:

Have.

800

:

Their own beautiful lives

that they're living.

801

:

But I always love when we come together,

but I sometimes struggle with when some,

802

:

when certain things happen, when we are

together, like if something doesn't go

803

:

my way or something, like they're not

804

:

in my everyday to day life for

them to fully see me and they

805

:

only see a glimpse of me and where

I am and how I'm dealing with.

806

:

Whatever situation or

circumstance that arises.

807

:

And sometimes I get frustrated that I

feel like they don't always see me for me

808

:

because they're only seeing, because we

have such a short amount of time together.

809

:

Alexandra (1): Mm-hmm.

810

:

Christine (2): I get frustrated

because then that is what they have.

811

:

Of me.

812

:

You know, if like for instance say

say something doesn't go my way.

813

:

This is an example.

814

:

This is not necessarily that happened,

but say something didn't go my way and

815

:

I reacted like I got a little frustrated

and angry or now for them, they're gonna

816

:

think that's how I react every time.

817

:

No, there was a series of

events that led to that moment

818

:

that I reacted the way I did.

819

:

But they're not, but they're not

there for all the other times.

820

:

Say something happened in traffic

and I like got a little, I had a

821

:

little moment of road rage, like

I'm not one to have road rage, but

822

:

that moment, something happened.

823

:

But now they think oh, Christine has road

rage issues or whatever the case may be.

824

:

It's something, it's silly.

825

:

It's something silly like that,

but I feel like it kind of goes

826

:

hand in hand with this conversation

around like first impressions.

827

:

How this idea of don't judge

somebody someone's story based on

828

:

the situation you're walking into.

829

:

Because whether it's your first

time meeting them or whether

830

:

you're not with them all the time,

you're not seeing the whole story.

831

:

Alexandra (1): Mm.

832

:

Christine (2): So I try to

always keep that in mind.

833

:

When I'm meeting someone new or

when I'm with someone I haven't

834

:

seen in a long time, you know?

835

:

Alexandra (1): I think that brings up

a really interesting I aspect to that,

836

:

like almost the other side, right?

837

:

you haven't seen somebody in a long time.

838

:

You can't, and I don't know

where I'm trying to go with this.

839

:

Can't hold on to the version

you thought somebody was the

840

:

first time you met them too.

841

:

Particularly if it's something somebody

you hoped to have in your life over time.

842

:

not that you have to allow people

to grow, but I think in our own

843

:

minds, we have to allow people to be

different than when we first met them.

844

:

So I feel like that's the, the other

side of the coin you're talking about,

845

:

like they only get a part of you when

they're here, and that may not be

846

:

everything they see up to that point.

847

:

So they're not seeing the whole you.

848

:

And on the flip side of that, if

someone only sees you once in a while.

849

:

They in their mind, can't hold you and

vice versa as that version of you only.

850

:

And it's something that's never

changing and ever growing.

851

:

Maybe what you were saying

just made me think of that.

852

:

Does they ever

853

:

Christine (2): Yeah.

854

:

Alexandra (1): members or people who

you've been close to in the past and then

855

:

they see you and it's like they expect

you to be exactly who you were then.

856

:

And you're like,

857

:

Christine (2): Yeah.

858

:

Alexandra (1): I have

gone through so much.

859

:

I'm doing so much differently now.

860

:

Christine (2): Mm-hmm.

861

:

Alexandra (1): Person.

862

:

And it's almost like their version

or their first impression or

863

:

how they remember you doesn't

allow for that growth and change.

864

:

Christine (2): Right?

865

:

Alexandra (1): Something I

need to be cognizant of too.

866

:

Christine (2): sure.

867

:

And even further, and even another

point to your point there, especially

868

:

when it comes to family, like how

sometimes extended family think.

869

:

Think they know you

870

:

Alexandra (1): hmm.

871

:

Christine (2): they have to or how

they think you should be, but in

872

:

reality, that's not who you are.

873

:

Alexandra (1): Yeah.

874

:

Christine (2): that make sense?

875

:

Like the, and confronting that with that

person, if you feel comfortable doing so,

876

:

like version you have in your head isn't

who I am and I'm never gonna be that.

877

:

So.

878

:

If you wanna be a part of my

life, please accept me for me.

879

:

Alexandra (1): Mm-hmm.

880

:

Christine (2): If you can't, I understand,

but we might not have a relationship then.

881

:

So.

882

:

There, it just goes to show how complex

we all are and we can't look at a

883

:

person in strictly black or white.

884

:

Terms, you know, there's a lot of gray,

there's a lot of different colors.

885

:

That's what makes us all beautiful.

886

:

And as I keep saying, showing each

other grace and kindness is important.

887

:

Alexandra (1): Mm-hmm.

888

:

So just quickly looking over our

notes here, what does it look like

889

:

to hold space for someone without

assumptions or projecting your thoughts,

890

:

feelings that person or situation?

891

:

I think you likened this when you were

outlining to a documentarians conundrum.

892

:

Can you tell us a little

bit about more about that?

893

:

Christine (2): Yeah, so my, I think

my, where I was going with that

894

:

is, I don't know if you can be.

895

:

I think you can have the best inten

intentions and listen, the best way

896

:

I think you can go about holding

space without making assumptions or

897

:

projecting, is to just listen to a person.

898

:

Just be there and listen.

899

:

However,

900

:

if that is someone you care about or you

are deeply fond of, you wanna help them.

901

:

So then the documentarians conundrum

comes in as you're still gonna feel the

902

:

way you're feeling about the situation.

903

:

So you can't, if, for those who don't

know, the documentarians conundrum

904

:

is documentaries are to capture life

the way it is, but by entering, but

905

:

without any sort of bias or agenda.

906

:

Like they're just there to capture.

907

:

Like wildlife, documentarians are there

to just capture animals in the wild.

908

:

But by adding the documentarian,

you are effectively changing that

909

:

environment whether you need to or not.

910

:

So by being in that holding space for

somebody who you care about, you're still

911

:

gonna feel how you're feeling about the

situation and you have to be able to.

912

:

Hold yourself accountable to this is,

they don't need me to fix the situation

913

:

or offer any sort of, maybe they

don't need want or need advice, they

914

:

just want someone to listen to them.

915

:

So you gotta understand, be self-aware

of where you're at, I guess.

916

:

And how you can.

917

:

Best hold space for that person.

918

:

Alexandra (1): Hmm.

919

:

Christine (2): And I think where

people struggle is control, people

920

:

will start assuming or projecting

onto a situation because they wanna be

921

:

able to control it or, or even we can

tie this back to our con our previous

922

:

conversation about being uncomfortable.

923

:

If it's making you uncomfortable and

so you, you effectively wanna control

924

:

the situation and change the outcome

or the risk of being misunderstood and

925

:

letting, letting go of that control

and just being present, it's not easy.

926

:

Does that make sense?

927

:

Alexandra (1): No, it does.

928

:

Yeah.

929

:

Christine (2): Okay.

930

:

Well that's good.

931

:

Alexandra (1): like when someone's

sharing, I think it can be easy to jump in

932

:

Say, here's a similar situation I've

experienced and this is how I handled it.

933

:

you're making assumptions,

934

:

You're projecting your own experience.

935

:

And I think some people share

that way, like they connect with

936

:

others by sharing similar stories.

937

:

But it's not always helpful

to the person, right?

938

:

So

939

:

Christine (2): right.

940

:

Exactly.

941

:

Alexandra (1): Be hard sometimes, like

when you care about somebody or you're

942

:

listening to somebody unless they say,

Hey, I need help fixing something to

943

:

just hold yourself back, hold space,

supportive without interjecting.

944

:

That's something I wanna

work on a little bit more.

945

:

Something just being quiet,

being like, Hey, yes.

946

:

You know, until somebody says, or even

if they want it, what are your thoughts?

947

:

You know, or how would you fix this?

948

:

Or, I need help fixing is because

up until that point, they just may

949

:

just want you to be a sounding board.

950

:

They just may want you

951

:

Christine (2): Right, right.

952

:

Yeah.

953

:

Alexandra (1): That's so hard to

not wanna like, jump in control.

954

:

Christine (2): Yes, it can be.

955

:

Especially if you really

care for the person,

956

:

Alexandra (1): Hmm.

957

:

Christine (2): you know?

958

:

Alexandra (1): Wanna

fix it, make it better,

959

:

Make it possible.

960

:

Christine (2): I'm interested

to sort of listen back as I edit

961

:

this episode and sort of see

962

:

how this conversation, I always sort

of, to the point of past selves, I

963

:

always, when I listen back and edit

these, I always think oh, that's

964

:

a past version of us right there.

965

:

So I sort of look at it

differently objectively oh, that's.

966

:

Totally not related to the future

version of me who's editing this.

967

:

And I always find it very interesting

when I do sit down to edit these episodes

968

:

and listen back to these conversations.

969

:

So I'm interested to see how this

goes when I sit down and I, because

970

:

I think this one was one of the

first conversations or one of

971

:

them first in a long time where.

972

:

I don't necessarily have all the answers

to the questions we're posing here and

973

:

I'm like in the moment talking them

out for the first time and processing

974

:

and voicing thoughts and opinions

on something for the first time.

975

:

That's all.

976

:

That's a interesting situation to be in.

977

:

I'm interested to hear what everybody

else's thoughts are on this.

978

:

Alexandra (1): Yeah, that's

something that we can just.

979

:

Sometimes let the past be the

past because sometimes there's

980

:

really not much we can do.

981

:

Like, I mean there's, it is the

past, there's not much we can do.

982

:

There's healing we can do around

certain situations or blame

983

:

we've thrown on past cells.

984

:

But at some point, like

the past is the past.

985

:

And I know for me, sometimes

I just need to let it be that.

986

:

And not take that with me forward

987

:

Christine (2): Right.

988

:

Alexandra (1): to play the

Disney song, let it go.

989

:

But but yeah,

990

:

Christine (2): Awesome.

991

:

Well, I think I've shared all I've.

992

:

Got for today.

993

:

You feel the same.

994

:

You got anything else?

995

:

Okay, cool.

996

:

Alexandra (1): I don't think I.

997

:

I don't think there's

much more that we can do.

998

:

I mean, right now,

999

:

Christine (2): Right?

:

00:56:59,421 --> 00:57:01,161

Alexandra (1): point we'll come

back to this conversation, but I

:

00:57:01,281 --> 00:57:01,881

Christine (2): Yeah.

:

00:57:02,518 --> 00:57:04,032

think we've said all we need to today.

:

00:57:04,227 --> 00:57:04,647

Alexandra (1): mm-hmm.

:

00:57:05,412 --> 00:57:05,712

Christine (2): Awesome.

:

00:57:06,642 --> 00:57:07,212

Alrighty.

:

00:57:07,392 --> 00:57:12,972

Well, if there's one thing we hope

you take from this episode, it's this.

:

00:57:13,553 --> 00:57:16,883

You are not required to resent

the version of yourself who

:

00:57:16,883 --> 00:57:18,263

is simply trying to survive.

:

00:57:19,103 --> 00:57:21,353

Growth doesn't mean

disowning who you were.

:

00:57:21,803 --> 00:57:25,373

It means learning from them,

honoring them, and understanding

:

00:57:25,373 --> 00:57:26,753

that they helped get you here.

:

00:57:27,128 --> 00:57:30,952

Your past self wasn't perfect, but they

were necessary they made choices with

:

00:57:30,952 --> 00:57:34,132

the knowledge they had, the wounds they

carried, and the love they were still

:

00:57:34,132 --> 00:57:36,545

learning to give even to themselves.

:

00:57:36,615 --> 00:57:37,635

And that's worth honoring.

:

00:57:37,817 --> 00:57:42,210

So the next time you feel the urge

to cringe, or to criticize or to

:

00:57:42,240 --> 00:57:48,461

replay old stories with shame, as the

narrator, take a pause, take a breath,

:

00:57:48,881 --> 00:57:52,841

and remind yourself you're allowed to

evolve without erasing who you were.

:

00:57:53,936 --> 00:57:57,836

And just as you practice compassion

inward, don't forget to offer it outward.

:

00:57:58,376 --> 00:57:59,936

Everyone is fighting battles.

:

00:57:59,936 --> 00:58:04,736

You may never see you're walking into

chapters mid story, so read with care.

:

00:58:05,636 --> 00:58:08,156

As always, we're grateful

you're here with us.

:

00:58:08,396 --> 00:58:12,656

Thank you for being part of this

conversation, and until next time, be

:

00:58:12,656 --> 00:58:14,696

gentle with yourself and with others.

:

00:58:14,966 --> 00:58:16,316

You're doing better than you think.

:

00:58:17,276 --> 00:58:17,816

Bye guys.

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Christine Borowsky

Introducing our enchanting co-host Christine, a nostalgic soul with a creative spark and an infectious optimism. A devourer of books, a music aficionado, and a film buff, she's immersed in the art of storytelling. Nature is her sanctuary, from forests to oceans. Eager for adventure, she's a perpetual learner, finding growth in every experience. Family and friends provide her comfort and joy. Unafraid of uncomfortable conversations, she navigates them with humor, believing they're vital for understanding and growth. Join her and Alexandra on this podcast where creativity meets curiosity, and laughter blends with wisdom.
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Alexandra Montross

Meet Alexandra, the spirited co-host of this captivating podcast, where everyday topics transform into enchanting conversations. With an old soul and a knack for the eclectic, she weaves a unique blend of organization and quirky charm into each discussion. Alexandra's passions span from wellness to metaphysics and dive into the thrilling world of entrepreneurship. Tune in for her lively perspective and insightful takes, adding a touch of magic to every episode alongside Christine. Get ready for a journey where Alexandra's vibrant energy and depth of knowledge create an unforgettable podcast experience.